So here’s a bit of background, sorry it’s a long one!! I’ve been with my husband for 8 years, he took on my daughter when she was 2 (now 10) and when we married she took his name, we had a baby boy 2 years ago and I struggled big time, he had colic, husband worked shift hours, baby would cry all the time and I felt like I had no help, hubby would drink a lot and we argued about it all the time. When baby was 6 months old I was diagnosed with cervical cancer, hubby seemed supportive, was great, then after a few weeks I passed out from stress, he came home and said he couldn’t cope anymore and left me. He came back after a week. We went on a family holiday before my last cancer operation and while on holiday I found him texting a girl from work. He denied it calling me crazy, the usual. Said he didn’t find me attractive anymore, I had put weight on, didn’t know if he loved me etc, we broke up for a month and he came crawling back, everything seemed fine for the past year, we got in great, always laughed, great sex life.
After a fun few months in lockdown we found out I was pregnant again, I am now 6 months, he became more distant, started drinking more and sleeping on the sofa saying it helped his back, I was suspicious over him suddenly not leaving his phone around, always sat away from me on the sofa so I couldn’t see the screen. He would start arguments over really strange things, he has been using my car for work since I started working from home but if I ever needed the car he would make it difficult for me to collect it from his work place and cause a huge argument, he’s also been horrible to the kids, 2 year old he would just tell to go find mommy and my eldest he’s been awful to her, constantly calling her thick and belittling her for everything. I confronted him numerous times and of course he denied anything was going on, he was buying me romantic gifts, booking me random spa days to give me some me time (I’m working from home and taking care of the kids at the moment so it’s been hard) a few weeks ago I had a phone call to say he had been having an affair at work for months. He didn’t deny it. I confronted the other woman and she was devastated, she thought we were separated and had no idea I was pregnant. She told me everything and couldn’t believe how much he had lied to her aswell as me. I kicked him out and he’s moved in with his parents and to start with he was grovelling, telling me he loves me and wanted to go to counselling, asking anything he could do to help me. Now he is being absolutely vile. He doesn’t want to see the kids doesn’t even ask how they are, he won’t talk to me amicably he just gets abusive, wants nothing to do with the new baby, it’s like he suddenly blames me for everything that went wrong and I made him do it.
He had counselling booked for today but he didn’t turn up. I don’t even know who this monster is and it’s breaking my heart how he literally feels nothing. I feel like my whole world has been ripped from me. I ended up in hospital with stress induced vomiting and dehydration for 3 days and came out with Covid so now I am stuck in the house for 2 weeks. I can’t eat, can’t sleep. Scared of parenting a child, toddler and a new born on my own. I’ve booked marriage counselling for next week, hoping something changes in him before then. He said last week he’s depressed and needs help and feels nothing for anyone not even the kids that he’s “empty” but now he says it my fault and as long as he’s away from me he will be fine. I just don’t understand any of it. I don’t know if I’ve booked it in the hope he will change and we can try again or if I need closure to find out why he became this person and help me move on. Please tell me others have been here and what was the outcome? Give me hope 