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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Mistake many years ago

4 replies

chunkyfunk · 25/11/2020 18:34

Hello
I need to write this down somewhere as I can't really talk to anybody in real life about it.
In 2014 me and my husband went through an absolutely awful patch we had been rocky for months leading up he left I begged him to come back he did then things were awful with us. Long story short we wasn't together by 2015 but I suppose I technically cheated as we were still living together in separate rooms but hadn't labelled ourselves as separated although we couldn't even look at each other!
I was 22 at the time not that this excuses my behaviour but feel this is important as I was young and would never make this mistake again.
At the end of 2015 he moved with work we moved as a family and sorted things started a fresh then welcomed our beautiful daughter late in 2016 things have never been better between us but I never told him about the man I was seeing as I didn't see what good this would do to our marriage. Fast forward to now and the man from years ago works at the same place as my husband now I don't know how long he has been there but I'm sure it's him he's not working close by but still enough to worry me. It was 6 years ago surely nobody will mention anything now?! He is in a serious relationship now also.
Do I tell him and risk ruining everything we have built back up together he would never forgive me. My head is destroyed I'm not playing the victim before anybody says but I have tortured myself for the last 6 years over what happened.

OP posts:
ozymandiusking · 25/11/2020 18:43

Don't tell your husband about what happened between you and this man.It won't achieve anything at all.

MRC20 · 25/11/2020 18:46

Don't say anything. If this man realises who your husband is married to he's very unlikely to say anything. No good can come of dredging it up now, move on x

Slippersocks20 · 25/11/2020 23:03

Leave it in the past. There is no reason to bring up something ... Just on the off chance that a bloke may, possibly, perhaps, sort of mention it.

You've built a life, your happy. Live it.

Sunflower1970 · 26/11/2020 06:06

I’m sure the man wouldn’t mention it - why would he? Leave it in the past and move on

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