Leaving today

[nothernexposure]

Hi, think I just want a bit of a handhold if that's ok. STEXH is moving out today and I'm feeling quite wobbly. The marriage has been pants for 10 years and over for at least 3, so I know really it's the best option. But I just feel very sad even though it's been me pushing the divorce through. The upside is no more tension, no more walking on eggshells round each other and no more being so irritated and frustrated by him. We'd stopped communicating so I'm not going to miss his company. I'm just a bit thrown by how sad and anxious I am, particularly when friends are expecting me to be ecstatic! Any one else felt the same?

Splitting is rarely easy and is certainly never without emotion - you spent ten years of your life with this man, so it's normal that this is all feeling a bit of a rollercoaster for you. I felt the same when I left my ex - happy but sad at the same time. This too shall pass - you'll be fine, in fact you will thrive. This is a good day, OP. Can you get out and get some fresh air and your mind off of it? If you can't do that, focus on all the bad stuff over the years. That put things into perspective for me and helped me through the wobbles.

Just here for support, maybe treat yourself to a bottle of wine and a nice cake this evening. I'm envious if that's any consolation! I need to be honest with my H and ask him to get gone. I wish you love and happiness from this day forward xx

My husband moved out just over a week ago. We'd been together 25 years and married for 21, like you, the marriage has been awful for a while but I genuinely thought we had settled into a friendship. I told him to go when I found out he had been seeing another woman but I've cried every day since.

Other people expecting me to be relieved/happy has been hard to handle, as has people telling me they never liked him anyway.

You will be ok, you will get through it and you will come out of it happier. Take some time each day to do something just for you - a walk, a bath, anything to remind yourself you're important.

Well done OP. It takes a lot of bravery to leave a long term relationship. It's very normal to feel wobbly - this is a huge life change.

Take good care of yourself and do whatever you need to do to feel better

It's normal to grieve a loss, even an anticipated loss. The relationship was presumably good once and you had hopes and dreams of your future together. That's what you'll be grieving rather than the person you no longer get along with.

Be gentle with yourself.

I get it. The shock is catching up. A good sleep and a couple of quiet days should make a difference.
I recall I had a little wobble when my Decree Absolute came through. Even though I started the divorce and couldn't get away quick enough.
Good luck OP x

Sending hugs to you xx it's two years since I told my husband I wanted to separate and he refused to let me buy him out of the house or move out. Finally, in Friday my remortgage will go through and then his purchase can complete. Today I have felt very teary and devastated, despite it very much being the right thing and what I want! It's part of the process, grieving for what should have been, but very hard. Sending love, it will get better but tough times now xx

Thanks everyone, we've made it through the first 24 hours and it's feeling ok. When things were really bad I was envious of people who had managed to seperate and was desperate to do the same but I think it will take a little while to settle and you're right, I'm sad about the loss of what could have been, not the reality we got. Mist importantly my DC is fine with it all. Thanks for the hand holds and good to know others have thrived afterwards

Pleased to see your update and hear you are all doing fine. 💐