Met a man a couple of weeks before lockdown. We've been on around 8 dates including me staying over at his at the weekend twice. We've bubbled...
There is something I'm not sure I should be bothered about. I know my own boundaries are my business but I have a tendency to be quite tolerant of other peoples flaws and imperfections (I have plenty of my own!) and it doesn't often serve me well.
He has a few female friends. I don't have a problem with this in the slightest.i never have. Mostly, it hasn't been a problem. Occasionally it has.
On our third date, he made a comparison between me and an ex of his. He had mentioned her in passing on every date at that point. I asked him afterwards if there was any unfinished business there. He apologised and explained that she and I share a similar experience and he was just trying to convey to me that he understood it. Fair enough. He has only mentioned her once since although I know that they are still friends and are in contact but indont know how much or how often. It just didn't work out. Fair enough. I have a close friend from similar circumstances.
He has mentioned his close friend's wife a few times. Always in very affectionate terms. She lost a close relative a couple of weeks ago and he is concerned for her. But I can't tell if the concern he expresses to me is too much. He's known her for years so not unreasonable that he'd care but lots of terms of endearment and worry about her.
He is good friends with his next door neighbours. They are having some (non marital) problems at the moment and he is her shoulder to cry on (literally). He messages me most days to say she's been sitting in his living room crying or has just gone round for a chat (I know, lockdown but that's a different matter).
Now I can't tell whether this is just who he is - everyone's friend who likes to help out (which, IME, can become a problem in it's own right); whether he's trying to make me jealous or whether he's trying to communicate that he is caring.
What would you think?