Is it wrong to ask missus to vape in another room?

[BlingersMcBling]

I'm trying to quit vaping as I'm getting on a bit and have asthma and I'm thinking about my health. I have quit a few times but always end up going back as I find it particularly hard as my partner vapes and so it's always very easy to just have a bit.
So I've quit again and asked my partner if she can just not vape around me for a few days to help me quit... well arguments ensued.. "why should I have to vape in another room just because you want to quit "
To me I can't believe how selfish she's being, I know for a fact if it was the other way around I wouldn't hesitate, in fact if actively encourage it as it was helping her but with her it's like she's not prepared to be slightly inconvenienced to help me out. Does she have a point or am I right in what I'm thinking? Thanks

Tell her to go outside to do it.

She should be more supportive IMO, yes.

Yes. You have a point. She should be more considerate.
Good for you trying to give up though. In the future I think vaping will bring it's own problems.

Why don’t you leave the room?

Neither of you are wrong but if you are sat in the front room and watching something and then ask her to leave the room then YABU.

Nothing wrong in asking her to leave the room. She sounds pretty selfish to be honest Unfortunately smoking & vaping as a rule are both selfish. Nothing worse than smelling someone's second hand smoke or sickly sweet vape cloud. If she continues to do it around you it will make it near on imposible to stop.

My partner only vapes at the back door / outside. I would ask her to do the same!

Does she not understand that vaping is not a good thing whereas giving up is?

That aside, she does sound pretty selfish: her needs trump yours, always?

She's being unreasonable/unhelpful, especially as it's for health reasons.

Neither of you are wrong

@Elfieishere She is wrong. This is something OP is doing for his health. Giving up vaping is good for anyone's health, but especially as he has asthma.

Never mind a few days - it sh ould be forever. And never mind another room - it should be outside.

As someone else said, smokers and vapers are notoriously selfish and just want their drug.

Is your partner usually so unsupportive and selfish? Is she jealous that you might manage to give up?

Having to go outside, which most people do in 2020, is one really good way to turn your brain to giving up - as it makes life worse to be vaping than not.

I think she's being selfish given that you have requested this for a few days as my DH never allows me to vape next to him. I tend to vape in the toilet with the window open or in another room again with the window open as we don't have a garden, balcony and live on the 4th floor of a flat.

Your partner is being unreasonable to come into the room you're in and vape, but YOU'RE being unreasonable to expect your partner to leave the room you're BOTH settled in to vape.

I think you should BOTH be more respectful of each other.

I think vaping and smoking indoors is a bit grim - especially if you have kids - but people are naturally defensive when their addictions are challenged.

What's your living situation OP - if house is jointly owned and then she might come round to a compromise after she's had some time to get used to the idea? If it's a new relationship and the property is hers then she might feel that you're trying to dictate to her in her own home, which would be harder to resolve.

Oh god vaping indoors is absolutely vile! What a skank. Tell her to go outdoors!

I'm not arguing in favour of it, but I'm wondering what exactly is so vile about vaping indoors, given that it tends to smell of fruit, or custard, or even coffee? I also wonder what the OP finds triggering about his partner vaping - is it the sight or the smell - and if the latter, if she switched to a different flavour would it make a difference? I'm not advocating in favour of vaping, I'm just asking, given that smoking has bad effects on others, and one singular smell, and is therefore rather different?

I used to vape, I quit and after the first few days it got a lot easier.....so first of all good luck. Have you considered using a zero nicotine juice when you get desperate? It's utterly pointless and makes you realise how stupid vaping is really but can help with the initial first few days cravings.

I think your other half is being selfish. I used to only vale outside or if the weather was terrible I used to stand at the spare room window .... You aren't asking for too much and she is being selfish.

@SoulofanAggron

Neither of you are wrong

@Elfieishere She is wrong. This is something OP is doing for his health. Giving up vaping is good for anyone's health, but especially as he has asthma.

He wouldn’t of started if he was that worried about his asthma.

He can also leave the room.

@Elfieishere
I think that she should be more considerate , and she should leave the room as she is the one ' contaminating ' the air with vape smoke. It smells disgusting. The fact that he started smoking when he has asmtha is irrelevant

[quote Mydogmylife]@Elfieishere
I think that she should be more considerate , and she should leave the room as she is the one ' contaminating ' the air with vape smoke. It smells disgusting. The fact that he started smoking when he has asmtha is irrelevant[/quote]
When you say 'it smells disgusting', which of the thousands of vape scents/flavours do you find disgusting? I just can't get my head around all of them smelling disgusting, am still waiting for someone to explain!

[quote Mydogmylife]@Elfieishere
I think that she should be more considerate , and she should leave the room as she is the one ' contaminating ' the air with vape smoke. It smells disgusting. The fact that he started smoking when he has asmtha is irrelevant[/quote]
Vape 'smoke'? Please explain this to me.

I think it's vape 'steam' that's the whole point of vaping I thought? Not smoke therefore better all round 🤷‍♀️

Sorry, I've misquoted here.

@Wagsandclaws

I think it's vape 'steam' that's the whole point of vaping I thought? Not smoke therefore better all round 🤷‍♀️

It's not even steam though is it? I do agree with you Wags.

Wow, the stereotyping is in force on this thread, let's join in. Personally I don't like walking past someone wearing too much perfume or aftershave but have never considered them selfish. Those offended by vaping - are you this outraged when boiling your kettle? Dry ice at your cousin's wedding? Driving your car? I'd rather pass by 'a sickly sweet cloud' than have a gob full of your petrol fumes hun. Funny that.

She should be supportive and vape elsewhere OP. Good luck with trying to quit, it's not easy for us junkie scum.

It's not just steam though is it - it smells of whatever flavour is being vaped. Stinks