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Original poster

Age gap

30 replies

loveyoutothemoon · 24/11/2020 19:05

Hmmmm....not sure on this one.

Always wanted to meet someone naturally...on a dog walk or similar Grin

I know a lovely lady through a previous job and she lives locally. She was walking with her brother and their dogs (probably very early this year) and we chatted. I noticed he was very good looking!

He lives about 200 yards from me and I've stopped to chat to him twice since including last week.

Anyway I saw the lady today and she told me that he thinks I'm gorgeous and that he said "her eyes are so dark!"

He's 63 and I'm 43! She says that she doesn't get on with all of her siblings but does with this one and he has a heart of gold! (and single). He looks good for his age, and he seems lovely.

YAY OR NAY?

OP posts:
Original poster
loveyoutothemoon · 24/11/2020 19:07

My eldest teen says I've "got to try!!"

OP posts:
SpillingTheTea · 24/11/2020 19:09

You're old enough to make a wise decision I'm sure.
My FIL is 20 years older than my MIL and they've been married 30 years 🤷🏻‍♀️.

Original poster
loveyoutothemoon · 24/11/2020 19:12

@SpillingTheTea ❤️😊

Thanks.

OP posts:
OhMsBeliever · 24/11/2020 19:13

I'm 44 and my boyfriend (or man friendGrin) is 59. We've been together 9 months, and it's going great. I'd say go for it!

alwayslearning789 · 24/11/2020 19:14

20 years is a big difference... especially when you are the younger one at 43.

Things will be rapidly changing both for you and him in the next 10 to 20 years.

Food for thought...

Aquamarine1029 · 24/11/2020 19:14

You're 43 so it's not as though you're 30. I say go for it. 63 isn't old to me at all, and if he takes care of himself he very well has many, many years ahead. Even if a romance doesn't bloom, you may have found a lovely friend.

Opentooffers · 24/11/2020 19:19

You cold try it, not sure how it would be long term. Not much passion IME with men much older - some seem to prefer an afternoon nap than a steamy afternoon session. Depends how much vigour is important, if it's not, or he's very fit and can keep up, it might work, so give it a try, nothing ventured.

MorrisBonsson · 24/11/2020 19:21

Dating is not marrying. You may not click for all sorts of reasons.

Elieza · 24/11/2020 19:34

Go date. Life’s too short. If it’s good that great. If not, new friend.

OhMsBeliever · 24/11/2020 19:43

Sometimes I prefer an afternoon nap to a steamy session. Grin

Sally665 · 24/11/2020 19:49

You have to decide this one I think. If you think he's attractive and he's in good health then maybe go for it? I'm 43 as well though and I personally don't think I could be in a romantic relationship with someone of 63.... I like being a similar age to my husband.... It seems like you are interested though.... So maybe just try it and see?

3rdNamechange · 24/11/2020 19:51

@Opentooffers

You cold try it, not sure how it would be long term. Not much passion IME with men much older - some seem to prefer an afternoon nap than a steamy afternoon session. Depends how much vigour is important, if it's not, or he's very fit and can keep up, it might work, so give it a try, nothing ventured.
I'm younger and I'd prefer an afternoon nap 😴
Cynara · 24/11/2020 20:00

YAY! I am 37 and DP I'd 54. We've been together for 10 years and I completely adore him. I am realistic (am an HCP so some would say fatalistic) about the long-term prospects of health decline, caring responsibilities etc, but you are contemplating dating not a contract signed in blood so if you like him and he likes you then why on earth wouldn't you give it a try?

Original poster
loveyoutothemoon · 24/11/2020 21:39

Aww thank you everyone, and thanks for the lovely stories. It's given me a real confidence boost to be honest. Been happily single for a long time and just seem to attract knobs on online dating anyway!

OP posts:
Devilrocknroller · 24/11/2020 22:52

My husband is 31 years older than me and we feel completely made for each other. And re the preferring the afternoon nap to an afternoon session - DEFINITELY NOT THE CASE in my experience Wink he definitely gives me a run for my money! Grin I have a bit of an old soul and he's always been quite young, so we match perfectly. Go for it.

chemicalworld · 25/11/2020 00:59

After a life time of wrong relationships, and me taking a while to be in a good place for a relationship, then being involved again with someone who wasn't ready, I got together with my friend. He is 56, and I'm 39 and we are very happy together. I do worry about the future but I'm also happy to live in the moment and appreciating being happy with someone I love. It depends on your situation but I say grab happiness where you can.

Thewithesarehere · 25/11/2020 01:14

Nay. Very different life stages. You have a chance of becoming a career too. Not worth it IMHO.

Separatedandabitsad · 25/11/2020 01:48

You never know what’s ahead . Make your decision on how you feel right now. You don’t have to walk down the aisle right now so is there any harm in a socially distanced rendezvous (with a view to be less distant? 😉)

DaftOldDog · 25/11/2020 06:45

If you fancy him then go for it.

However, I'd say that it's fairly common for 63 year old men to find 43 year old women 'gorgeous'.

I say that because one of my close friends is 22 years older than me (I'm 45). I see him as something of a father figure as mine died a few years ago but, judging by the unsolicited messages I've received via fb from some of his similarly aged friends, that's not how they'd see it...

GreenlandTheMovie · 25/11/2020 11:43

63? I wouldn't get involved unless he is very good looking and unusually healthy, fit and active for his age, and a non smoker and drinker, AND if he was independently wealthy with no dependants left to support.

Be ause realistically, in a few years time, you could find yourself wiping an OAP's bottom, and a small pension isn't really compensation for that.

A woman at my work moved in with a much older man while your age. She ended up nursing him. When he died, his adult children kicked her out of the house in order to sell it, she was left with nothing and she had to move into emergency council accommodation.

Separatedandabitsad · 28/11/2020 20:15

@GreenlandTheMovie

Cripes that is a realistic side of it all!

OhMsBeliever · 29/11/2020 11:22

She hasn't even gone on a date with him yet and people are predicting death, doom and gloom!

More fool on your workmate Greenland for not putting financial things in place before she moved in with her partner.

I'm not planning on living with anyone again, but if I did I would making sure that should the worst happen, to either of us, we wouldn't end up homeless.

RuthW · 29/11/2020 11:42

No don't! He will be 'old' soon and you won't.

Original poster
loveyoutothemoon · 29/11/2020 13:51

I'm not really feeling it tbh, with Covid I've put dating on hold. Not sure I'll bother in the future anyway.

Feeling fed up, feeling let down blah blah blah.....

OP posts:
GreenClock · 29/11/2020 14:04

I’ll be honest - my concern would be tor him! I sense that you might end up settling for him because you’ve had bad luck with wrong’uns of your age. Are you excited about the prospect of a relationship with this man? That’s now a first date should feel.

I say this as someone who “settled” at 29 because all my mates were getting engaged/married. It was not fair on him. It failed.

Maybe have a date or two with him but take it no further if you genuinely don’t feel romantically attracted.