3 months and I'm not over him,help!

[annjohn55]

3 months later I still feel stuck in the same place.
Still cry,still re read his texts
We were together a year
Still miss him
On my mind morning noon and night
What can I do to get over this man ?

Oh so sorry this awful and not helped by being lockdown without our social gatherings to give us something to look forward to
All I can say is to have hope that better things are out there (learned the hard way)
Can you make plans with friends or anything even something outsdoors within the rules

@Littlemissnutcracker I met a friend in the park yesterday and we had a picnic (absolutely Baltic ) but it was something.
No distractions at the minute.
No shops,no restaurants it's a bit depressing.
I don't think I'm helping myself either by re reading texts.

Delete the texts and any pictures.

Maybe it would help not to read the texts and delete them? It's keeping you emotionally bound to him, not letting yourself detach from him.
Have you thought about your future without him, your aspirations, career, hobbies you can take up, I know it's hard but it will get better and eventually you'll get bored thinking and will start taking actions to meet friends when allowed and start dating again?
There's always a reason why relationships don't work out and it's for the best to move on rather than being stuck in a bad one so think of your future rather than the past.

OP, it is awful having to get over somebody. I’m sorry you are going through this.

Can I ask why you are no longer together?

Sorry OP, heartbreak is really hard and it must be even worse at the moment. You could try writing a list of his bad qualities and what went wrong with the relationship. Years ago I was hung up on somebody but after I wrote down all the problems and negatives it really made me see that we didn't have a future. I think sometimes we get caught up in the fantasy of what the person / relationship might have been like rather than the reality of what it was.

I hope you feel much better soon and are able to move forward.

Same...you aren't alone x

@Lucy830 he had a wandering eye,well more than his eyes did the wandering

@annjohn55

Give yourself a little bit more time, 3 months isn’t really very long and I bet you’ve come further than you think. Delete his texts and photos you might think you can bear to part with them but I promise one day you won’t care.
Start a new hobby I know it’s difficult with covid but even finding a new series on Netflix to watch or start a new book to get stuck into will distract you.
you will start to think about him less and less and eventually not at all.

Also write a list of good things about being single and positives of your relationship ending. If you have any of his stuff at yours - bin it.

@ICanoeCanYou that's a good idea,I think il write a list of his bad qualities (a bit like Ross did with Rachel ..if you watch friends ha )
I've been doing a lot of online shopping to distract myself which isn't ideal for my bank balance

Definitely write the list Op, keep referring to it! Imagine if you were with him, all that anxiety and uncertainty would be horrible, never being able to trust him. You loved the man you thought he was, not the unfaithful waste of space he turned out to be!

Fwiw I have found relatively short relationships hardest to get over, much harder than my marriage was to move on from!

Delete delete delete. Delete everything, his number, photos, videos, block on fb and ig. I found getting on dating apps and talking to other men helped refocus my mind too. I didn't necessarily want to meet up with them or start a new relationship but putting myself out there a bit really helped. I actually ended up with my now fiance and we have an 18 month old as a result!

@annjohn55 can you write the list here?

@YuletidePizza that's very true.
I loved the person I thought he was and I miss that person
Even tho he didn't even exist

@Wanttobeonabeach yes that's a good idea
1.he's a liar
2.he manipulates people to get his own way
3.sneaky
4.two faced
5.hot and cold and moody
6.selfish
7.inconsiderate
8.petty
9.cruel

Hmmm doesn't sound great.

Can you list 9 good things about him? About what he actually was ( not what you want him to be)?

I found this useful...I could write 20 bad things but couldn't find 20 good things! I could find glimmers of good things, but consistent good things nope.

My list would be very similar to yours, especially the moody/ hot and cold / manipulative...oh and sulky.