New BF after divorce

[WhatTodoALL]

I am not a native speaker, so I am not sure about English grammar. I am in my mid 30s. Until recently I have been married for 15 years and we had two kids 7 and 11. We live in London now. During my entire marriage, I was finding pictures of men kissing each other, having sax, gay-porn, etc. Never ever anything related to straight sex. I tried to speak with exDH about it but he always lied "It's not me!" (Aha, sure, I must have forgotten it was me). We had quite good sex life in the beginning but then it dwindled to a minimum. Affection outside of bedroom was non-existent, and even in the bedroom not much better.

Anyway, after a lot of thought and after finding out that instead of having sex with me he locked himself in the bathroom and watched gay porn, I decided to separate and divorce. In May I moved out and I am divorced from July. We 50-50 custody of DD and DS

Also in May my colleague asked me out on a date, it all started with a lot sex but over the months we built a really lovely relationship, I feel loved, respected, and I feel it reached the place where in Jan-Feb I may want to introduce him to kids which means I have to tell my ex-husband about it. And I know it will be all about "You left me for him, you cheated on me, you are a lier" and he will tell everyone that I am a cheater. I am not, it just happened. I didn't tell anyone that I think he is gay in a closet as I am from a country when it's dangerous to admit it and his family will be devasted and our kids will be bullied.

I am not sure what to do. I feel I did everything right but it will look horrible.

You've been divorced from July.
After that it's none of his business what you do, who you see etc.

Why can't you tell your friends you felt neglected and that he preferred porn to you, if they ask about your divorce. It IS true after all (just not what sort of porn).

And you can legitimately say you did not start a relationship with the colleague to after your split. You don't need to be specific on timings, just that it wasn't why you split up, and you didn't start the relationship until after you had split.

And you can always tell your ex if he does start bad mouthing by saying you cheated on him that he'd better stop as it is not true, and not the reason you split, or you'll be considering whether to tell all about the type of porn he watched in preference to being with you.

Can't see what you're worrying about.

First if all - it doesn’t matter what he tells anyone. Or even what he tells you. You are divorced now, so it’s none of his business.
Secondly - when did you actually file for divorce, and told people in your life?
I presume - since the divorce came through in July - it was at least several months before this summer, as it normally takes time.
So - most people would be able to understand that timing.

But - more importantly - for the sake of your children - I’d wait a bit longer. You’ve only moved out in July. It’s been not that long for them to adjust to this new phase of life. There isn’t really a rush.
You have only been dating that man for 5 months or so. And, great that you are having lots of sex - but it does seem too early for introductions to the kids.
Why not just tell the kids in the new year that you are dating and do the actual introductions in the spring? I presume you aren’t moving together just yet, so you can take your time?