Am I overthinking his comments ..

[regencyofyhethrone]

I am in a relationship of three months where my boyfriend (48) was in a long term relationship and was broken up with after a tumultuous, emotionally volatile relationship. He was very weak for her by his own account .
We are very very happy together. He is respectful, fun, kind and thoughtful. He is very loving. However , at times he has said how lovely it is to have ' someone' again, to hold 'someone', to have company with' someone' etc. He says this in a very loving way and is very affectionate but I can't help but feel that instead I f that person being 'me' it is a general girlfriend he speaks about . He is damaged emotionally from his last relationship. They were due to move to be together and set up their lives. She contacts him when she needs something and he readily gives advice and he is available to her by phone. Should I be concerned ?

I think you are way overthinking this

Yep agree with the above. Just relax and take things as they come.

I personally don't see any problem with him saying "someone".... You are that "one", and it's not an uncommon turn of phrase.....

I would be concerned that he doesn't seem to be over his ex and it sounds like it was a complicated relationship. I would take my time in this relationship I think....

Why does he need to be in contact with her? How long was the gap?

What do you mean by emotionally volatile? I'd be wary for this comment alone, sounds like a fancy way of saying they were nasty to each other.

Why do they need to stay in touch? Bit weird.

Didn’t you post about this before?
Sounds like he’s not over her to be honest. Sorry op.

Clearly he isn't over her if he is being available to her when she needs.

His ex has no respect for his new relationship with you otherwise she wouldn't be needing him and would find ways of doing things for herself.

Does she know he is in a relationship with you ?

If I was you I would sit down with him and have a talk just to find out where his head is at and what kind of future plans he has.
I would also find out what he means by someone because he could be the type of person that finds comfort in any human being and doesn't do well with its loneliness.
Hope that helps

Sounds like he cares about you a lot and maybe you are overthinking his comments. But I wouldn’t be happy about him messaging his ex often I think you should explain that it makes you uncomfortable (if it does) and he needs to set some boundaries with her. Fine if they stay in touch a bit and message occasionally (birthdays etc) but if she is leaning on him for support that’s not really ok if he is in another relationship. He should put you first

They broke up two years ago .
I do need to. Talk to him and put a stop to the relationship if there is a hint of him wanting her back.

Emotionally volatile meaning that they argued a lot as she didn't like him spending time with anyone but him but he still fought for her after they finally broke up . He was gutted .

The “someone” thing isn’t a bad sign in my opinion as long as he also sometimes mentions specific positives about you. I actually wouldn’t sweat the ex-girlfriend one either to be honest. I am still good friends with my ex-husband and ask him for advice sometimes. I’d rather sleep with Satan tho! 🤣

They broke up a toxic, "volatile" relationship two years ago and he is still at her beck and call? Fuck that. He is still emotionally enmeshed with her. I would be running for the hills .

Why do they need to stay in touch?

V. similar to my current relationship issues tbh - I'm a year in and guess what, it isn't working out.