About 12 months ago, I started dating someone. It was someone I quite fancied and had done for a while who was my friend's friend.
For one reason or another, it didn't work out. He was quite emotionally repressed and I never knew where I stood with him and doubted that he fancied me at all so, although we got on ok, it killed any feelings I had for him and I ended it. We also had some quite significant incompatibilites that were masked by lockdown that meant we wouldn't have worked out long term anyway. He suggested that he wanted to remain friends because we have friends in common. i was sceptical because I've never had a desire to remain friends with an ex but i was also keen for it not to cause awkwardness in our social group, so agreed.
My expectation was that it wouldn't amount to anything but that at least it would mean there were no hard feelings and we could be friendly when we saw each other again.
That's not quite what happened.
We have actually become quite good friends! He messaged me about something in the news a few days after we split up, I replied and it's continued. It was a couple of months ago now and we've met up several times for walks in the park/drinks (on average once a week/occasionally fortnight) and we went out for a last drink together the night before lockdown#2 hit. We message each other a couple of times a week maybe and he phones me probably once a week or thereabouts. He always phones me, messages are initiated by both of us fairly equally but he sends me far more in the way of photos than I send him (I don't send any).
There's no flirting, no lingering eye contact, no reminiscing. He sends me photos of things he is doing/nice scenery - just the sort of thing I might have with any of my friends. But, tbh, there was little of any of that when we were together so it's actually quite nice! If I'm honest, we get on better now than we did when we were together partly because I no longer care if he is 'interested' and assume he spends time with me because he wants to and enjoys my company rather than because he feels obliged to or wants sex so I'm more relaxed. I think he is more relaxed with me because I am his friend and not his girlfriend. I think we are just better as friends.
Our mutual friends think it's 'nice but a bit odd' as he's not remained friends with any other exes either, are pleased we can still get on but were surprised we are in contact as much as we are.
One of my friends thinks he might assume i have feelings for him still and is 'playing' with me a bit (which isn't going to work as I don't) maybe trying to make me jealous that he is having a nice time without me? Or for company during lockdown (he has other friends he's meeting up with outside). I see this as a bit cynical.
One of my friends is convinced he still has feelings for me and is going to ask me to try again at some point. In the early days, if he had done, I would have been tempted but still said no. Now, I wouldn't be tempted and don't want him to.
Tbh, it's like the dating part never happened for me!
I'm only really asking because last night he sent me a few photos of him (outside!) with friends including ones of him that were really nice - entertaining but in which he did look very attractive (and probably knew it!)
How would you read it all?