Would it be ok not to do this Skype call?

[Farontothemaddingcrowd]

Dp and I are hopefully getting married in a few months (pandemic permitting) and we’ve arranged it when we have his dc with us. There is a court ordered Skype call with their mum that weekend (they are with us Friday to Sunday and they call mum on a Saturday evening). The relationship with dp’s ex is acrimonious and she has tried to stop him seeing the dc - so he’s had to go through court to see them.

She will not concede anything, but do we really have to provide a Skype call when we will be sitting down to the wedding breakfast and she will see the dc the next day? I don’t want to cause issues for dp - but I would find the call intrusive on the wedding day itself, it’s a small intimate ceremony. The venue is remote so the signal there is poor anyway.

I’ve suggested to dp that maybe he offer a Friday bedtime call instead - though he only picks them up at 5 on Friday so even that seems silly. Does that seem fair? Ultimately it is his decision of course, but he’s happy to not do the call given the circumstances and I don’t want to cause issues with ex.

The contact is also court ordered, so she can’t demand they don’t attend. She got into trouble for breaking the order last time. Once they are in our care we are safe to let her know, but we are definitely not going to make a big deal of it or say anything beforehand. It’s not worth the risk!

They will have a lovely day and I’m sure we will too 😊

So nice to see a 'good news' thread on here ⭐️

I would (and probably will do this if my DP and I marry) set up a timed email on the morning of the ceremony. Then she's aware it's happening, but not soon enough to interfere- this would be absolutely necessary with us.

It’s a shame to have to even think about it, but here we are! I feel a lot better now, we can have a lovely day and the call can just be a quick hello that doesn’t intrude.

Yes.... keep everything lighthearted fun and vague for the kids.. get the call sorted.... enjoy your Day 💕