Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Bizarre parent behaviour

7 replies

gahsoscared495858 · 22/11/2020 20:16

I am late 20s, single, lived away from home for 10+years but come back to my parents' place for a few weeks of lockdown. Wanted to spend time together, they are not getting younger, and also was nice to be looked after for a bit and an excuse to hang out. I have an intense job so annoyingly have been stuck at the computer for a lot longer than I would have liked (WFH) while they are both retired and have been for many years

We get on well although they are ageing and dm especially still stuck on whole parent-child dynamics - her house, her rules, does not really compute that I am an adult now. We do get on normally though and I am trying to enjoy quality time and not sweat the small stuff

Roll on this evening, dm asked if I wanted dinner, I said no thanks, don't make any for me as had work to do. Currently holed up in bedroom doing said work. Dinner time comes, whole house hysteria and screaming/shouting as dinner is on the table and I am not there. She comes up to my bedroom door and forcefully/loudly slams it, I assume to express displeasure... Screams at df who also lives there to come downstairs, both of them are very on edge and every little thing becomes a huge drama. He begs me to go and placate her. Now I am still doing work and neither of them is talking to me.

Is this a bit weird? There is lots more I can go into (stately homes stuff) but its taken me to adulthood to realise its not really ok. Fully accept I am out of order or being a bit precious

OP posts:
RandomMess · 22/11/2020 20:18

Very odd.

Did she not listen when you said no thanks to dinner, or was it an unacceptable answer so she ignored it?

MrsTwitcher · 22/11/2020 20:22

Why didnt you just stop work for a while and join them for dinner which she prepared for you. What were you planning to do, eat on your own later? Do you help with the cooking or offer to cook dinner for them.

gahsoscared495858 · 22/11/2020 20:23

Random - she laughed earlier and said ok, assumed that meant she wasn't making it?

MrsTwitcher - working to a deadline and have more on my plate after, so really need it done asap. Yeah I cook for myself/offer to cook for them but they dont like that. I just said I would sort myself out. And obviously always do say thank you when they do things for me.

OP posts:
RandomMess · 22/11/2020 20:27

Sounds like a control issue, how dare you work on a Sunday evening when she decided she wanted you to have dinner with them...

Mrsbclinton · 22/11/2020 20:31

My own parents are retired, mid 70s and have an incredibly ridgid routine. If anything unexpected crops up it seems to irritate them & can be a huge drama even miror things.

Not saying this is the case here, but I would imagine if I moved home for a few weeks there would a lot of adjusting to it on both sides!

Could your parents be a bit like this?

MumOfPsuedoAdult · 22/11/2020 20:31

Sounds to me like they're so grateful to have their darling baby home that your DM has lost 10 years and is treating you like the teenager she wishes you still were.

MrsTwitcher · 22/11/2020 20:47

How old are your parents? I kinda get where she is coming from, it can be very upsetting and frustrating making a meal and no one is interested or can be bothered to be in the room ready to eat when it's ready.Having someone prepare their own meal later after all the clearing up is done can also be quite frustrating. It might be stressful for them having you back home, their routine will have changed and it's not always easy for parents having their dc move back in.

Maybe they feel Sunday is family day. Someone is going to have to just apologise.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread