Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Did he cheat and give me an STD?

6 replies

mayasmumma · 22/11/2020 19:29

Back story, DP and I been together nearly 4 years. We have 1 dc, born earlier this year. About a year ago, went to drs for some strange thrush, they did a STD test which came back positive. I’ve only been with 2 men, one of which is DP. DP claims to only been with 2 women, one of whom is me. I confronted him about it, utterly devastated and he swore he hadn’t, and had no idea what he was talking about. He was STD checked before we met and I’ve seen the text from the clinic confirming he was clean. We didn’t live together at this point, but always had a very communicative relationship, he never hides things from me normally and has always been fine about me going on his phone to look something up or call someone etc., we know each other’s passwords and codes. I haven’t cheated on him. My ex, did cheat on me towards the end of our relationship, he claimed it was only a drunken kiss in a nightclub but I’ve always suspected it was more. He was manipulative, emotionally abusive and a liar, our relationship was incredibly dysfunctional. I figure it can be one of 3 options : 1 - ex did cheat and gave me chlamydia but it was dormant in my body so didn’t come up on the STD test I had in between partners. 2 - current DP is lying and did cheat (I still find this hard to believe, for one he’s very shy). 3. There was a mix up and I never had it after all. Thoughts please? Am I a naive idiot and my boyfriend and father of my son did cheat on me? Or can an STD like that lay dormant and not show up?

OP posts:
Hayeahnobut · 22/11/2020 19:32

You don't always get symptoms immediately with chlamydia.

user137425689631 · 22/11/2020 19:33

Chlamydia can be dormant in the sense of being asymptomatic but as far as I was aware it still shows up on tests - that's why they encourage regular testing for it in certain demographics.

Comtesse · 22/11/2020 19:34

2 seems most likely sorry to say - did you have the test before the baby was born or after?

Eskarina1 · 22/11/2020 19:36

As far as I know, no test is 100% accurate so false positives and false negatives exist. That said, I worked for an organisation providing STD tests and statistically there are more lying partners than false positives. However, this doesn't mean your partner is lying.

Did you take the antibiotics course? Did he? Reinfection increases the risk of infertility so if you were treated and he wasn't you should get retested.

mayasmumma · 22/11/2020 19:39

This was long before DC came along. Due to my age I had an STD test as part of midwifery care which came back all negative.

OP posts:
Thewoodfromthetrees · 22/11/2020 19:39

Chlammydia shows up in tests between 1 to 3 weeks after sexual contact. If you tested negative before then you didn't have it then and if you've tested positive now then you would have contracted it between the two tests

New posts on this thread. Refresh page