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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How do I find the energy to leave

1 reply

Moscowvium · 21/11/2020 18:03

It's been over a year since I said that things need to change. I'm late 30s and I dont want to live the rest of my life in a sexless marriage. I was low but got help. I've been working with my own therapist for a year. It's hard and draining. In the summer I pushed for couples counselling which my DW did eventually agree with. I pushed on with that but it lost momentum and my wife became uninterested.

We never chat, we have poor communication. My wife says that some of the issues I have raised are painting her as abusive and it's not fair. She admitted in counselling that she has anger issues and is controlling.

I know I need to end it but I cant find the energy. I've got nothing left.....

She spent all day at friends, came home and watched tv. All she asked was how much cleaning I had managed to get done. I was cooking dinner at the time. She is very successful with her job and will work tomorrow on her job. She works for half a day most weekends.

A year ago when I said I felt lonely and felt she prioritised her friends over me she screamed, walked off in tears and slammed the door in my face. When I told she prioritised work over me she said in was a hypocrite as one day last year I'd worked a weekend.

I've just got nothing left and staying and shutting up is just the easiest thing right now.

OP posts:
ReneeRol · 21/11/2020 20:11

Say nothing more to her. She'll only scream and argue. The relationship is over and you're exhausted under the stress of it.

Speak to a solicitor about what you need to get in order, find somewhere else to live, take a day off work and move everything out while she is out working. Have a list of things you need to do to get out of there and force yourself to do them.

Once you're gone, apply for divorce and leave any further contact with her through your solicitor only.

Then move on.

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