I’ve been with DH for nearly 10 years. We have a small child together who is under 5. Since DD has been born his behaviour has grown strange. We can be completely happy, he can be very loving and kind. Then suddenly he will completely change (no obvious fight or anything). He will go days without talking to me, will ignore me and just flat out refuse to help me in anyway. I ask him repeatedly what’s wrong. Which is met my further anger/upset or “nothing is”. I’m clearly being punished for something I’ve said or done to him. After a few days he appears to get back to his normal self with me. Sometimes he may decide to talk to me about what’s happened but usually not. I never intentionally try to get on his bad side but I honestly don’t know what I am doing wrong? I try to ask for as little help as possible and get on with the day to day. I find myself constantly worried that I’ve done or said something wrong. Things came to a head recently and again we’ve come back to him refusing to talk to me/make eye contact or just acknowledge me in any way. I sort of snapped and told him honestly that his behaviour is hurting me. That I feel like a giant disappointment. He agreed and said I am always disappointing him or making him upset. He says there’s no point in talking to me about anything. I do nearly everything around the home. I do pretty much everything for DD. I try and be there or give him space. I know I have loads of annoying quirks. Like sometimes being very indecisive or buy DD one too many toys. But I honestly try my hardest.
I haven’t been home the last few days. So I asked him does he want me back? He mentioned he just wants DD and isn’t bothered where I am.
I just don’t know where I am going wrong or what’s wrong with me. If I mention how I feel or how it’s effecting me he will say “I always make it about me” and that’s why he is how he is.