First session of supervised contact taking place

[Pebbledashery]

Hi mums,
My DD is seeing her father this weekend for the first time in 6 months... it's closely supervised contact in the community as contact centers are closed.
Any tips to get through it? its starting off with an hour for a number of sessions and if the social worker thinks it is going well it will progress to two hours. Just feel a bit sick to my stomach.
DD is so attached to me and the thought of handing her over to a stranger and walking off makes me want to cry - I don't want her to think I am leaving her.
Also - I am having a call with the social worker today prior to the contact session. How much would you tell her? there is a long history of domestic abuse and violence and if you've read my other threads you'll see we had to flee and relocate with the help of social services. This monster also abused his daughter :(
How much should I tell the social worker??

I'll be honest with you, when it comes to child contact they are looking at the needs of the child, not each of you. The fact visits are supervised indicates that they have concerns, so don't make the leap to 50/50 care. That said you moved away so expect the judge to take that into account too when telling you what you need to provide etc transport. It doesn't seem fair often but research shows most kids benefit from a relationship with both parents, but also be away that he may meet someone else and loose interest in visits which will probably be the best in these circumstances!

@movingonup20 I understand that.. Completely. But will the fact we moved away because he was violent and abusive towards both of us and social services removed us from the county we were living in and helped us relocate not count for anything? I had to move away to get away from him and the abuse. Had I remained in the relationship the social worker actually said to me our DD would've been removed from my care because I wouldn't be demonstrating that I can safeguard her. You know. I said to the ISW yesterday if dad wanted to ask anything regarding DD I would be happy to provide an update on anything.. He didn't even feel the need to ask about her life. Like I say, a good dad, one who isn't violent and abusive wouldn't need a twisted and nasty barrister to fight his case in the manner his did. They would get by on their individual merit. I'm not going to use our DD as a weapon, she's not going to get caught up in a tug of war by me. I've recognised the Court has ordered contact on the basis its in her best interests.. Not his.. Not mine.. But in order for contact to progress... He MUST address his violent and abusive behavior because its been documented by the Police for over 20 years. I know he'll never change.. But for his daughters sake he should at least try.

@Pebbledashery the fact you keep calling the barrister twisted and nasty does show that you are (understandably) having trouble seeing the case objectively. The barrister was arguing the case that he or she was given, which is their job. The judge looked at the facts, saw a high risk to your DS and reflected that in allowing a tiny amount of visitation, supervised only.

It's still crap for you and this must be so hard, but you've got social services on your side and your son is safe with you right now. Most importantly, he has a mother who loves him enough to be so brave that she uprooted her life and is fighting so hard to protect him - he will be ok, because he has you. I hope that via SS or a DV charity you have someone to talk to. Leaving an abusive situation it can be hard to back down from high alert, but it will be helpful for you and him.

@OverTheRubicon ordinarily I would agree with you.. But today I've received a call from my solicitor whose said cafcass have been in touch because they have quiered the order. They've now contacted the Court in order to get the directions varied.. My solicitor said that doesn't happen often. How barrister wasn't arguing his case.. She was discrediting me as a mother without all the evidence. The only way he got contact was on the suggestion of the ISW and that contact centres were closed. But it's OK. All I need to do is turn up for contact and make my daughter available as per the Court order. Nothing more, nothing less. I can deal with it.

what happened with contact over the years? I’m in the same situation