Insecurities through the roof

[Civilhelp]

I’m single and have been for a couple of years I have had some unsuccessful flings . But I’ve noticed for about 10 years ( yes 10years ) all the men have made in abundantly clear I am not their ideal type and told me about all the other hot women they like . It’s happened more than once that they have told me after they never found me attractive ! Reflecting a lot in lock down has made me see a pattern.

One ex went on to just chat up and go for all the attractive women at work after we split with no mercy for my feelings ( wasn’t discreet at all ).

I don’t really ever think I will be good enough for someone just as myself , I’m always someone who will just do . Things like onlyfans and tinder scare me because men seem to have access to lots of pics of women etc even more than porn !

Is there anyway to overcome this feeling ? I can’t see myself getting in a relationship . I feel like I’m I don’t really fit a lot of people’s ideal of attractive ( clearly ) but also that ice wasted time with men who think little of me . Very annoyed at myself!

I went through a period of meeting people who criticized my appearance. Mainly my body shape. I look smaller in clothes than I am and like many women I hide lumps and bumps effectively. It took me a long while to realise the problem was not me. Of course it was them and their shallow attitudes. It's just a shell...your body...a way to get around the planet. Whatever your looks someone will find you beautiful it is only a matter of time till you find them. Everybody has their own individual x factor

You’re tolerating the same type of man and these ones don’t half delight in making you feel rubbish about yourself.They do nothing for your self esteem and make you feel worthless.Especially if your self esteem is low anyway, they can almost smell your insecurities.

Work on yourself OP and try to move in different circles and be with good, positive people.You will have a lot to offer don’t let anyway make you feel that you don’t.

When I was young, I endured this sort of treatment because I thought it was just normal, I look back at my younger self and I cringe I was so stupid to give these type of people the time of day.Not just men but even my female friends.

Try and get into something, be it exercise, anything that sees you move with similar minded people, it will change your life.