Relationship problems 😖

[ShayCB]

Hello I'm having some trouble with my relationship and would love it if someone could give me some advice.

So me and my partner have been together for nearly 6 years now and was so happy we eventually got engaged, we could never afford to get married so still engaged years later. We then went onto having our first baby obviously from stress of new baby and sleeplessness night etc we argued alot more than normal I also had a little Post natal depression to add to it 🙈 couple years down the line I'm now currently very pregnant with our second (39 weeks) the last couple months I have been very stressed and hormones are all over the place plus the loneliness of 2 lock downs have gotten to me and we have been arguing again 😭 One day I felt so bad for being such a moody hormonal bitch I turned to him and told him I'm really sorry and I love him still very much and still can't wait to have him as my husband one day and cqrry on building our family /relationship, that's when he turns to me and says he loves me but not as strongly anymore and doesn't wsnt to get married to me anymore 😢 I'm just about to drop a baby and I've never felt so rejected, lonely and heartbroken in my life! 💔 😭 I had a week of just none stop crying. I then dusted myself off and carried on thinking of my kids. I told him I don't want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn't want the same things with me/ doesn't love me the same way back. He said he doesn't want to break up he still loves me and still wants our family and that he Hopes the feelings grow again. Now this it where I'm not sure as of what to do... Do I stay and hope things get better and hope he loves me in that way again or do I accept he doesn't love me/want me in that way anymore and we break up!?

I don't know what to do 😭

I’m confused, you couldn’t afford to get married but are about to drop baby #2. If you can afford a child/ children then you could have afforded a wedding. It doesn’t sound like marriage was a priority/ dealbreaker. If your relationship has worsened then no, getting married, would not be on the cards.

I can understand your sadness that marriage might be off the table (not sure it ever was with this man) but the state of your relationship would of course impact the ‘dream’ of getting married.

What do you do? Work on your relationship, go to couples counselling and stop focusing on the soft furnishings while the house is burning.

I agree with AgentJohnson. Focus on your children and family as a whole.

He sounds charming. Honestly, I'd put the ring in some food and make him eat it. Tosser.

So he doesn't love you enough to marry you, despite having previously proposed, but can have children with you?

Not wanting to split up because he still loves you a bit is not particularly cryptic code for 'I'm waiting for someone better to come along".

Get rid of this lying, disrespectful bastard.

Is a wedding more expensive than having two children?

We was saving to get married but unexpectedly fell pregnant with our first we had to use the money saved for the wedding to buy baby bits and move house etc the second pregnancy was planned. He has been married before because his family are religious and he proposed thinking it was the right thing to do, they got divorced not even a year into their marriage.

Forgot to say he proposed because she was pregnant with his child after couple months

You're not financially dependent on him, are you?

I'm afraid I agree with @BumBurnerBum's take.

Youd be a lot safer if you were married. Many men have cold feet about marriage and need to be encouraged into it.
This is an old fashioned view by MN standards but true.
Single motherhood is blooming hard, I wouldn't choose it if I were you.

Pop down to the local registry office and just get the paperwork done. If he doesn't want to split up then he should marry you. You will be at a disadvantage all the way if you remain unmarried. Unless of course you have a very well paid job and can support yourself and your 2 children if his love for you and commitment doesnt return and he leaves.