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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should i be worried

12 replies

ItsMamaBear121 · 19/11/2020 23:58

So my husband and i have been having issues. Mostly trust and effort

He acts very shady with his phone always with him, shower, underpillow u name it.
Im an open book i leave it lying around so to me seems like what u hiding sort of thing!

Anyways tonight i spoke to him about my concerns as he follows so many women on his social media and most of these women have nude pics up. To me that's disrespectful. He goes he doesnt know hes friends with them he randomly adds them

I asked to see his phone and he goes ok. I was shocked he opened up his social media to let me see and i see two women he been speaking to one i know really well so didnt even look thru her convo but another one were hes been having ton loads of conversation with her

As i went thru it i see that he went to train her dog. Nothing fishy just talking so so much even he doesnt talk to me that much.

I remember few weeks ago him telling me he went to train his mates dog but he referred her as HE. I asked him and he goes i didnt tell u its a HER cause u would act like this.

I said but i cant see why your never honest
Hes always lying when he talks to his girl mates and that pisses me off. I don't personally see why he needs to have long convos with other women. He never even texts me to see if ok?

I have trust issues with him from past mostly lying where he is, who hes with, not coming home all night but he keeps telling me it's all in the past. How can it be the past when hes never made an effort to help me work on the trust issues he caused.

Should i be annoyed. Do u think this is innocent or something fishy

OP posts:
Namechangedforthisoct2 · 20/11/2020 00:01

Dump.
Delete.
Block.

Sunflower1970 · 20/11/2020 04:40

No hope of an honest relationship with this guy.

Aquamarine1029 · 20/11/2020 04:45

Haven't you had enough for this lying sack of shit already? He's playing for a fool.

Windmillwhirl · 20/11/2020 05:40

You are flogging a dead horse. He's constantly lying to you. You either accept this is who he is and put up with it, or you leave. You are never going to trust him, remember that. Not a hope I'd accept this from a husband.

ItsMamaBear121 · 20/11/2020 06:11

@Windmillwhirl do you reckon there's more to him n this girl. Its very rubbish that hes not concidering my feelings in all this

OP posts:
Windmillwhirl · 20/11/2020 06:20

I dont know what he's up to. You are clearly unhappy. Without trust you are are going to be very miserable. Is he really worth all this? Would you not rather be happy without the weight of all this on you?

He may or may not be up to no good with the woman whose dog he trains, the problem is his lies so you cant trust him.

whataday12 · 20/11/2020 06:29

Dump
Him it's so disrespectful to be adding random women when in a relationship. Also he's adding them purposely for the nude photos 🤢. If he isn't already shagging these women he's talking too he's wanting too . A mam doesn't put effort in to making a friendship with women on line unless there's something in there for them x

ItsMamaBear121 · 20/11/2020 07:56

@Windmillwhirl up until now is still blaming me saying i dont trust him so he lies. Gosh its a cycle

OP posts:
ItsMamaBear121 · 20/11/2020 07:58

@whataday12exactly that but is still telling me he has to lie as id have an issue with it. Well if i have an issue then don't go doing it. I wouldn't i respect his issue with it

OP posts:
category12 · 20/11/2020 08:03

You don't have "trust issues" - you have an untrustworthy bloke who has already broken your trust multiple times and just expects you to blindly suck up further lies and deceit, under the pretence you're the unreasonable one.

It's not worth it.
It is not worth twisting yourself up to try to believe in him.
It is not worth driving yourself bonkers policing him and checking up on him.

You would do better to go through the short term pain of dumping the fucker, than the long drawn out agonies of doubt, self-flagellation and self-delusion of sticking with someone who treats you so disrespectfully and is 90% certainty shagging dog-training woman.

Windmillwhirl · 20/11/2020 08:19

You dont trust him with very good reason reason: he lies. Instead of being honest he makes you out to be the problem. I'm sorry but you have got yourself a loser partner. There is no way back from this. You will never be at ease, not with this female friend or the others that follow.

Hes not the prize you think he is. I'm sorry, I know this is hard to hear, but it's the truth.

whataday12 · 20/11/2020 11:40

[quote ItsMamaBear121]@whataday12exactly that but is still telling me he has to lie as id have an issue with it. Well if i have an issue then don't go doing it. I wouldn't i respect his issue with it[/quote]
That's what they say when they know they are in the wrong , they always blame you x

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