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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Falsely accused of hacking. What to do ??

8 replies

Elyne123 · 19/11/2020 21:07

Falsely accused of hacking

Need advice on how to handle this problem. An ex friend of mine who I had a fallout with last year has now falsely accused me of hacking her phone, she is also having a meltdown and saying to a family member of mine that she will commit suicide and leave a letter blaming it on me.
Bear in mind, I have not had contact with this person for nearly a year nor have I spoken about her to anybody. I have been through a difficult time
at the end of last year when I suddenly lost my dad and couldn't make it to his funeral because we lived in different countries. At that time I became very angry at everyone, then in an attempt to heal from my loss, I removed all toxic people from my life. Few months later, I moved to another city for work, moved to new house and settled down nicely with my daughter. I am a professional working full time and raising a child on my own (I do not have time or energy for anything else)
Now, and after finally feeling better, she comes back with an absurd story about me hacking her phone, listening to her conversations, making fake profiles. She then told a close family member who was helping me with childcare that I also hacked their phone to spy on them whilst watching my daughter, she went on about telling all her family, her employer (who knows me), and apparently the police in my home country who promised her they will arrest me on arrival (obviously not true).
On top on that, we are both from conservative cultures, she told my family that I left my religion ( in an attempt to alienate me ) that I wished death upon all of them and that I had multiple boyfriends ( I have been single for 2 years- not even dating).
Lastly, she is now calling my aunt telling her I should leave her alone and that she will accuse me of hurting her.

I am absolutely shocked about all the above, don't know if it's psychosis she suffering with and I don't want to hurt her, I wanted to lodge a complaint against her here as well as in my home country ( I come from a family of lawyers), but then I calmes down and thought I would ask other people for advice first as I still don't want to hurt her if she is suffering already.

Apologies for the long post and many thanks in advance.

OP posts:
Swaning · 19/11/2020 21:33

I didn't want to read and run as this sounds awful.

I feel like, no matter what, you cant win in this situation. If you try and contact her she will say its PROOF youre harrassing her, but if you say nothing you're almost accepting her allegations.

I think you do need to take a 'cease and desist' type approach and let her know youll take it further if she doesnt stop spreading lies and contacting your family. I would suggest its done indirectly via your family of solicitors whilst also letting the police know you are being harrassed.

PaperTowels · 19/11/2020 21:36

Yes, it sounds like she is mentally ill. Surely it's unlikely that anyone will listen to her increasingly unhinged accusations?!

But, for your own peace of mind, you may want to do something legal. I'm not sure what?

Bunnymumy · 19/11/2020 21:39

I think you would be wise to report this harassment to the police op. Mentally unwell or not she has become obsessed with doing you harm. It would be wise to at least get a record of this somewhere so that if she does something else even worse, it can be seen that she had a vendetta against you prior to things.

Elyne123 · 19/11/2020 21:44

Thanks for your replies, I thought about reporting her to the police but hesitated for a moment. Will definitely do it tomorrow in anticipation of anything happening in the future. I am unsure about her motive tbh. I also told my family to ask her to come forward to the police with any accusations as I don't have anything to hide.

OP posts:
Bunnymumy · 19/11/2020 21:47

I'd be careful not to goad her op. And I'd be telling your family to have nothing further to do with someone who makes these accusations. She needs to be removed from your life as much as possible. If you have people in your life who are associating with her even knowing what she is doing...I'd rethink how close you let these people to you as well. Or at least, not tell them anything they could relay to her that she could her against you.

Bunnymumy · 19/11/2020 21:48

*could use against

Elyne123 · 20/11/2020 16:41

Thanks for the advice and I shall be more careful about family members who are associating with this person

OP posts:
lonelySam · 20/11/2020 17:14

If she is having a breakdown she might be saying things she will bitterly regret when she comes out on the other side. I had a stress induced psychotic break in the summer and tell you what, it wasn't pretty.
I did apologize to the people though once I got better :D

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