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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Boyfriend pretends to be annoyed at things all the time?

30 replies

Hlhope96 · 18/11/2020 23:01

Hi,

So it’s hard to summarise a lot of how I’m feeling but I need to know if anyone else has experienced this.

I’m a very low maintenance person, I never get jealous or need a lot of attention. I have a lot of my own hobbies and respect he does too. In honesty I rarely am in a ‘bad mood’, but the problem is I’m incredibly over sensitive.

My boyfriend on so many occasions has pretended to be annoyed or lied to get to me and then said everything is fine as if it’s a joke and I should of understood. I don’t understand it.
It’s clear he’s annoyed/ pissed off and I feel bad and often get upset for doing something I shouldn’t but as soon as I get upset he was joking?

Quite brief I know sorry but if anyone has had this please let me know.

OP posts:
SpillingTheTea · 18/11/2020 23:11

🚩
He's purposely trying to get to you.
What a sad little man.

ContessaDiPulpo · 18/11/2020 23:13

He's making it all your fault. It keeps you on the back foot and apologising and anxious. It's a nasty dickish way for him to behave and he gets a pliant girlfriend out of it, so is unlikely to stop

00100001 · 18/11/2020 23:13

Ltb

Aquamarine1029 · 18/11/2020 23:17

Aren't you bored of this bullshit already? Dump the immature prick.

nutmegsteddytoes · 19/11/2020 00:05

He's gaslighting-run as fast as you can

AcornAutumn · 19/11/2020 00:11

“ My boyfriend on so many occasions has pretended to be annoyed or lied to get to me”

He isn’t happy with you being happy and calm. He wants to upset you, annoy you, irritate you.

Some people are just like that, I don’t know or care why, but I won’t ha e them in my life. Bin him.

Casmama · 19/11/2020 00:29

I don't entirely understand what you mean but it sounds like he's fucking with you for some reason and playing games. I think this ones probably not a keeper.

SortingItOut · 19/11/2020 05:58

I think the annoyance and lying are true and he really is annoyed but when you call him out on it he doesnt want to have to explain what he is annoyed about and why (probably because he knows he's being a dick) so he turns it around and says its a joke.

Dump and move on, its childish and pathetic and he's got you questioning yourself which noone in a decent relationship should be doing.

AlwaysCheddar · 19/11/2020 06:06

Get rid

Zanina · 23/12/2020 14:01

He won't let you be happy. It's a control tactic . Find out if his mum or dad does the same. Apple never falls far from the tree. Run for the hills and be happy! X

Thankssomuch · 23/12/2020 14:03

He sounds very tiring.

Fluffycloudland77 · 23/12/2020 14:05

Is he a 12yo wanting mummy’s full attention? That’s not normal behaviour at all.

ErickBroch · 23/12/2020 14:13

Control/Abuse whatever you want to call it. i've been there. He is now in prison and I have PTSD. Leave as soon as you can because it will only get worse Flowers

Bananalanacake · 23/12/2020 15:03

How long has he been like this. Don't let him move in with you.

Original poster
Hlhope96 · 18/04/2022 11:41

@Hlhope96

Hi,

So it’s hard to summarise a lot of how I’m feeling but I need to know if anyone else has experienced this.

I’m a very low maintenance person, I never get jealous or need a lot of attention. I have a lot of my own hobbies and respect he does too. In honesty I rarely am in a ‘bad mood’, but the problem is I’m incredibly over sensitive.

My boyfriend on so many occasions has pretended to be annoyed or lied to get to me and then said everything is fine as if it’s a joke and I should of understood. I don’t understand it.
It’s clear he’s annoyed/ pissed off and I feel bad and often get upset for doing something I shouldn’t but as soon as I get upset he was joking?

Quite brief I know sorry but if anyone has had this please let me know.

From the person that wrote this: I left him after nearly 8 years this time last year, it wasn’t easy and he was vile to me, very controlling. I realised how much manipulation and coercive control id had to deal with after seeing a therapist to deal with this (and still to this day). Looking back I can’t believe I allowed someone to treat me like that for so long but I got out of it and I’m living a life I deserved without him 🙏
OP posts:
leotardrock · 18/04/2022 11:43

Great news OP! Well done!

2catsandhappy · 18/04/2022 11:46

Great update! @Hlhope96 maybe you will give hope to someone else too.

Velvetbee · 18/04/2022 12:35

Wonderful update!

Hawkins001 · 18/04/2022 12:51

@Hlhope96

Hi,

So it’s hard to summarise a lot of how I’m feeling but I need to know if anyone else has experienced this.

I’m a very low maintenance person, I never get jealous or need a lot of attention. I have a lot of my own hobbies and respect he does too. In honesty I rarely am in a ‘bad mood’, but the problem is I’m incredibly over sensitive.

My boyfriend on so many occasions has pretended to be annoyed or lied to get to me and then said everything is fine as if it’s a joke and I should of understood. I don’t understand it.
It’s clear he’s annoyed/ pissed off and I feel bad and often get upset for doing something I shouldn’t but as soon as I get upset he was joking?

Quite brief I know sorry but if anyone has had this please let me know.

It sounds like he is annoyed ect but then when he realises it upsets you, with him being annoyed about x, he then trys to backtrack rather than upset you more,

I could be wrong but that's behaviour I've seen when others have done similar.

EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 18/04/2022 14:53

Great update OP. Well done to you Flowers

RoyKentsChestHair · 18/04/2022 15:20

Glad you’ve been able to escape from this relationship, albeit after 8 years!

Hopefully updates like yours will show the people who think that we scream LTB at every little thing, that it’s warranted. Usually we’re seeing the start of a well known pattern, not just making unfounded assumptions. Flowers

prickferrari · 18/04/2022 15:20

Fabulous update! it's eye opening to go through that and come out the other side isn't it, to really understand how hard it is to see it when you're in it.

lilkiki · 18/04/2022 15:21

God he sounds well annoying

maybe when he’s pretending to be mad at something you can be like “oh well, I’m not mad about it. Hope you have a good night”

Bluedabadeeba · 18/04/2022 18:21

Amazing. Well done you!! Onwards and upwards!!

mrziggycoco · 18/04/2022 19:05

So he's gaslighting you?

Trying to hurt you on purpose?

Get away then, as he is not treating you with respect and that means this relationship has become toxic.