Husband had an affair

[Aintnosunshinewhenimgone]

Found out a few weeks back that h has slept with a woman from work think emotional affair that led to him sleeping with her back in october. I was suspicious of her for a while and found out he had been to her house on 2 occasions for several hours. I rang her and she confirmed it, rangbhim and he tried to deny it initially then agreed he had slept with her. He begged me to let him stay and try and make it work. Initially things were ok but I think only because I couldn't accept it had happened but now I realise I have to accept it has and try and figure out what to do next. I really cant see how I can stay when he has done that but weve got 2 dc and it breaks my heart to think of how sad they will be. He swears it was only once and was never going to happen again realised it was a stupid mistake etc but I dont believe that. He sees her at work and is on group what's app messages with him. It makes me feel sick. I just need some advice what to do next. I havent even cried about it, just feel dead inside

How come it was only once when he was there twice?

Tbh I think if you accept this too easily it can happen again. He really has to get it, to understand the impact of what he's done.

I'm sorry you're going through this. Give yourself time to come to terms with it and gather your thoughts before making any decisions. Can he move into a spare room to allow you space? Would you consider couselling to help you both understand how you ended up here and if there's any hope? If nothing else you may have closure, answers and be in a better position to coparent more effectively, even if you do decide you can't stay together. Good luck x

All I can give is a big hug, i am not good on cheating threads as I am a DC of a cheating father. So I try to not give opinions as there zero tolerance to cheats and realise it isnt clear cut

'He swears it was only once'

He's lying

There is always more to come.
He needs to quit his job.

Read 'the script'.

Get your ducks in a row

Oh poor you and what rotten timing. He needs to understand how upsetting it is for you that they still work together and that maybe if he changed job so wasn’t around her it may help? That and an offer to attend counselling to determine why he cheated wouldn’t go amiss but whether it’s enough for you to be able to forgive him...time will tell.

Did he come clean or did you have to get it out of him?

Yes if you split your children would be sad but not for long.
Having separated parents would become the new normal soon enough.

I bet the atmosphere in the house is awful now for the kids anyway.

How was family life before you found out? Probably not good, men who are willing to have emotional affairs are generally selfish, distracted and angry people.

Its not about your children though its about what you want.
Can you honestly stay with a lying cheating scumbag?

I think you need to forget about the fact they only had sex once, you know they had it loads but men minimise and only admit to the least they can get away with.