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Original poster

Rid of the control

12 replies

Leanne1191 · 18/11/2020 11:25

Hi everyone,

So I need some advice, my ex does this thing where he will text me when he's bored or when he feels like it and I message back straight away! Literally (I know, I know 🙈) but when I message him he literally ignores me! He ignored me all last week and the weekend! He's controlling and I still think he thinks he can control me..... I need to break this habit and it's hard! Very hard! I've been ignoring his calls just because I don't want to speak to him or hear his voice but texts I can't help but reply to as soon as I receive them? 🤷🏻‍♀️🙈

OP posts:
Chocolate123 · 18/11/2020 11:26

Delete and block then he can't contact you.

Original poster
Leanne1191 · 18/11/2020 11:26

@Chocolate123

Delete and block then he can't contact you.
I can't we have two children together. It's a little complicated.
OP posts:
Chocolate123 · 18/11/2020 11:28

Contact only by email regarding the kids then no phone contact

Original poster
Leanne1191 · 18/11/2020 11:29

@Chocolate123

Contact only by email regarding the kids then no phone contact
Hmmmm..... ok.
OP posts:
Bunnymumy · 18/11/2020 11:34

You know I've always thought his sort have a weird kinda hold over ppl. I met one from my past a few months back and I can't stand the guy, have no interest in him knowing anything about me and yet, he asked me some questions about how I was getting on - and I couldn't stop myself answering. It was like a compulsion. I was able to lie to an extent so that's something but still bloody irritated with myself lol.

I think all we can do is avoid them. Block his number for a start. And block him anywhere else he may try to contact you. If you meet him in person somewhere you cant escape (eg: public transport) a good habbit is to bat the questions back at him. Of course that only works if you think fast and even then, not for long. Best to try to keep away.

Bunnymumy · 18/11/2020 11:35

Ah kids together. Hmm, I dont normally recommend grey rock technique. But in this case I think it might be useful for you. Google it and see.

Bufferingkisses · 18/11/2020 11:38

Well either block and move to email only contact - lots of parents work fine this way. Or delete any texts that are not about contact instantly as they arrive. The only solution is to stop replying. Anything that is contact plus other stuff only reply about contact. Ignore anything else. It's simply brain training.

bluesmurfsalive · 18/11/2020 11:40

Set up a schedule and a separate email address just for your ex to email if he needs too. Block his number, on social media and his email address from your email you normally use. If there is an emergency when the kids are in his care ask him to contact someone you trust who can then inform you. You need to go cold turkey otherwise you'll never break the habit.

Original poster
Leanne1191 · 18/11/2020 11:44

@Bunnymumy

Ah kids together. Hmm, I dont normally recommend grey rock technique. But in this case I think it might be useful for you. Google it and see.
Hmmm just read it, this seems good I've started some of it in some ways, I don't look at him when I have to see him, and I don't say much to him either.
OP posts:
Original poster
Leanne1191 · 18/11/2020 11:46

@bluesmurfsalive

Set up a schedule and a separate email address just for your ex to email if he needs too. Block his number, on social media and his email address from your email you normally use. If there is an emergency when the kids are in his care ask him to contact someone you trust who can then inform you. You need to go cold turkey otherwise you'll never break the habit.
Ok, it's so hard because for over 8 years I've always texted and called him most of the day, everyday, he text me this morning about some passwords on our youngest sons leapad he brought him for his birthday. I haven't replied. I'm quite proud 🤣🙈
OP posts:
bluesmurfsalive · 18/11/2020 11:49

That's it keep it up. Small steps. Maybe put your phone away somewhere too. Out of sight out of mind. Try and keep busy.

Bunnymumy · 18/11/2020 12:01

Just a thought too op, if he texts you and you reply and then he ghosts, all smug about you replying and so him now getting to ignore and hold all the power...brilliant! Because it actually means he will leave you in peace for a bit. Why care what he thinks? Let the sado think he is oh so desirable of a big man. So long as he stops bugging you for a while.

I mean really he might think he is winning his game. But in reality, it means nothing if you aren't even playing it.

Then itll be like he's like a kid playing hide and seek, counting and thinking you are hiding...and in reality, you've just gone home :D

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