I need some hope

[weecheese]

I'm 39, and have a 16yo DS, been pretty much single since he was a tiny baby. But have been hurt over and over by one person in that time. I met him before I had DS and I messed it up back then. Last spoke to him 6/7 months ago.

Last week, I was prescribed anti-depressants. Today I see this person seems to have met someone. Even though I want him to be happy, it hurts.

My mental health is my priority right now, I know that. I just need to hear that I might find proper happiness one day. I feel like I've missed out on how it is to really fall in love, and that at this age it will never be as good as it could have been, how other people have had it.

Give me hope?

The best advice I was given is that the number one person in your life should be YOU.
You won't find happiness, or a meaningful relationship until you love yourself.
So, OP. What to do?
May I suggest a programme of building up your self esteem. Do The Freedom Programme. Read up on the psychology of relationships. Set yourself some personal goals : career wise, physically, hobby wise and take up something - art, reading, hiking ...and recognise that you are your own best friend.
It's mindset OP.
Once you've sorted that, the world really is your oyster.

I wish I could believe that @pallasathena.

Thank you though.