I can’t tell if I’m being unreasonable but my boyfriend enjoys a good drink (so do I) and though he’s not given me an overt reason not to trust him (in fact he can be very sweet) he gets a bit flirty and intense with other girls when he’s drunk enough.
We’ve been together for around a year and it’s only happened twice but the behaviour is question is: he’ll be having a conversation with a girl (who may be a distant friend but not super close, often it’s the first/second time I’ve met them) that looks like it’s going well and he’ll put his arm around their shoulder and talk to them directly, I don’t know how to describe it but it looks quite close, almost like he’s giving them his undivided attention and it makes me feel shit. I’m often standing in a group with him or nearby but both times it’s happened I’ve had to leave the area because it makes me feel shit. When he’s later sober, both time’s he mentioned casually how said girls are interesting to talk to.
I often work weekends so he goes out (lockdown permitting) when I’m not there and it makes me wonder what he’s doing when I’m not there if he’s like that in front of me. I manage to forget about it but the feelings come back with full force and I spiral into resenting him and wanting out and it’s just rubbish not feeling like I can trust him.
I’ve spoken to him about it the first time it happenEd and it went fine but don’t think I quite made it clear it was the arm-around-shoulder intense-chat thing that made me uncomfortable.
Not sure what to do, or if I’m overthinking it aargh but can’t stop resenting him for it in my mind either