My relationship broke down over two years ago (it was a bad break up). I am in my mid to late fifties, I work, I have a nice job. Since breaking up, I haven't managed to get a life really - it's been very hard to pick up the pieces, but I do have a lot to be thankful for my own home, no financial worries and a lovely daughter.
The past few weeks in lockdown has made me dwell - I have two friendships and wonder what to do. I live alone, work from home, have a few people around, so I do find things tough at present and do feel lonely.
The first friend, I have been friends with for decades. When I reacquainted myself with her, many years ago she was in the middle of an acrimonious split from her partner, I used to listen to all her woes, over time we became good friends (I thought). She is part of of a wider circle and I sit somewhere on the outside.
I split from my partner a few years ago, I was distraught because of the nature of the break up, however, I noticed my friend less then empathetic after a while and even think she had been discussing me with others.
Over time, she has detached herself from me, where once she was never off the phone, now she never calls. I noticed when I met up, I was being excluded from the group, she wasn't telling me about important life events and even excluded me from something quite recent. Someone in her family was dying and for the last year I felt obliged not to cut off and to keep in touch, as I felt it looked bad. Now the person has passed away. I realized I have been in touch with her the last four times - she never gets in touch with me anymore. This dilemma is, shall I just let this friend go?
The other dilemma with another friend is this; I have known her for quite some time and used to meet up with her from time to time. She had a very similar experience as me with her relationship breakdown, we work in a similar field, I thought we had things in common.
We started meeting up and going for walks and exercise, I was really enjoying it. She was out of a job after being furloughed, I let her know about some jobs within my organisation and both her and her family member got jobs, I was so happy. But the last few weeks she has just practically cut off, said she would call me and didn't and then seems reluctant to make any arrangements, I can't recall us crossing words or me saying anything to upset her, but I no longer have my friend to go for walks with or chat with and she just doesn't appear to be interested anymore, that is a shame especially in this lockdown period which can be really isolating for someone like me. Shall I try and find out more or just let this friend go too?