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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Anyone else recovering after a toxic relationship ending? Support here!

1 reply

TeddyIsaHe · 17/11/2020 07:47

Dp and I broke up a few weeks ago after a slow and painful death.

He was never happy, he wanted me to be someone totally different (thin, with no opinions and to never question him).

The thing about toxic relationships is that they’re not always hideous, you are so in love with the good side of them that you can see past the shit. I was totally addicted to the massive highs after the crashing lows.

I’m having to relearn that life isn’t meant to be so damn dramatic all the time and a few mundane months will fix me better than anything else.

He blocked me everywhere which is amusing, because when we initially broke up I basically begged him to, which he wouldn’t because he wasn’t controlling the situation. But it’s been so great for my state of mind, the no contact rule is very empowering and lifting if anyone else wants to try it.

If anyone else is having a rough time of it tell your story and I’ll try my best to help!

OP posts:
notsurewhattodo22 · 17/11/2020 10:06

Hello...sorry to hear of your experience.

I had an on / off thing with a guy I thought/ feel I'm in love with for about a year. It was very toxic though. I was always insecure, uncertain, miserable etc as he wouldn't commit and kept dithering around.

I believe I am trauma bonded to him as I've spent the last month or so crying since it ended.

I do believe it's harder when a toxic relationship ends as you also blame yourself for putting up with the awful behaviour and they make you doubt your reality. Mine would blame shift, stonewall, dismiss etc. The whole year was me walking on eggshells and apologising to keep the peace. The last time I I apologised I got told off for apologising so I couldn't win.

I've had no contact for a week or so now. I miss it but I'm hoping it will get easier, not sure when though.

We had a big row at the end and aren't talking now.

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