Can I find out if STBXH has fathered another child?

[crummyusername]

I'm separated from DH and he has a girlfriend, who I think he's been seeing for some time. Something has made me have a suspicion that there's a possibility she has had a child with him. Is there some way to check this via birth records, assuming he's named on the birth certificate?

I've tried a couple of ancestry websites but can't see how to figure this out - I can't even find my own children's birth certificates, and I can't see how I could link from his details to those of any children.

Is it really any of your business?

Fair question. We are still married not divorced so I was thinking I need to know as much info as possible before negotiations start.

If he does have another child then during divorce proceedings it will be highlighted if he has financial responsibility I would imagine.

I dont think its anything to do with that and if you are being honest you know that too.

You don’t really need to know tbh.

DD’s father did something similar, although I found out when baby was 3 months and he changed the CMS.

You’ll find out soon enough through divorce or CMS.

Public records are accessible on things like ancestry if it’s within 100 years of the event usually as there will be living direct descendants. I only know as I’ve been trying to trace grandparents who have passed away but it’s within the last 50 years. I think it’s as others have said, wait until the divorce proceedings highlight it

Sorry should say aren’t available

It's not going to be to your advantage of he does have a child, you know. It'll reduce his maintenance liability, reduce his disposable income for the purposes of calculating his mortgage capacity, and may mean his partner's income isn't counted in his household budget (if the child is very small and it's unclear if she'll be returning to work after maternity leave, for example).

You could try and order a copy certificate from the local council where the birth was registered.

You could try and order a copy certificate from the local council where the birth was.

The OP has no idea of birth date or mothers name so I would think without those basic details it would be impossible.

If the children are going to his I imagine they'll soon tell you if there's a baby brother/sister? Or are they too young or does he not live with gf and they wouldn't be aware?

I mean, you were married to the guy! I'm not surprised you want to know if he's fathered a child... Sadly I can't help you with how to find out

Thanks all. I thought it would just be a case of some kind of online search using his name / date of birth but it doesn't seem to work like that - as I said, sites like ancestry.com don't even seem to have my own kids' details. I'm probably wrong as I do have access to his account (joint account) and there's no odd transactions, which you'd assume there would be if there was a child to support.

Anyway several of you are right that it's none of my business really and I suppose I'm mainly wanting to know for my own curiosity which isn't healthy. I'll try to just get the whole idea out of my head, since if I need to know it'll come out, as you say. Can't help feeling odd about even the idea of it though.

Do you have any children with your husband? As one day they may want know to their half sibling.

Yes we have children. Probably all a false alarm but he’s devious so I can’t rule out he might be hiding a big secret.

I actually think that if he does have another child then OP should know as her other DC have a right to know if they have a sibling.

I would want to know as well. It sounds as though you are not in a position to just ask him. I would probably do a bit of sleuthing on social media.

Do you think he might have married the girlfriend? Are you looking for evidence of bigamy? That would be your business!

Birth records only go @ the 1980's on some sites.

You can get a copy of any birth, marriage or death records you wish at the Council BMD registry for @ £8 -£10 but need to narrow down your options. This is harder with common names and having no range to search within. Records could throw up 50 matching records for all you know. The names, month and local council may get you several options or none.