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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Any nice love stories you can tell me? Feeing so down today!

36 replies

Freshon · 16/11/2020 17:58

I’m single and lonely. Please tell me your love stories or nice relationship things to help me see that there’s good out there somewhere...

OP posts:
GotOutAlive · 16/11/2020 23:30

@Freshon sorry to hear you're upset. It's easy for me to say it'll all come right in the end. But I do believe in fate and that we all get to where we should be eventually, even if it doesn't feel like it at the time. A

You're still young and again, its a cliche, but focus on you and the things you like doing, Try and be happy on your own ( I know from experience it can be hard) and not look for a relationship. As soon as you stop doing that, the right person will come into your life when you least expect it.

I found I was constantly 'scanning' what potentially suitable men were out there and you get to the point where you settle for less than you want or deserve. Plus men can sense when you're needy and want company and then exploit that.

Freshon · 16/11/2020 23:40

Thank you for the kind messages. I feel so alone and it’s very lovely to read such happy stories. I loved the one about the crossing in Switzerland!

OP posts:
Freshon · 16/11/2020 23:42

@GotOutAlive thanks. Your post means a lot, so nice to read when alone in bed feeling like this is it for me! I try and stay happy but I’m desperately lonely and even when dating the last year I’ve not met anyone I wanted to see again.

OP posts:
Tessiot · 16/11/2020 23:50

This is a true story about a couple I knew, who passed away a few months apart. He was a family doctor who practised in the locality for most of his life. A small man, well kept, warm dark friendly eyes and an appetite for listening. He was so good and kind and generous. They named a new ward after him in the local hospital after he died. She was the local village headmistress and she was also generous and kind. Her eyes were gentle, playful and crinkled at the edges from a lifetime of smiling. They had no children, luck conspired against them in that regard. I used to see them twice a year, in a medical capacity and they sought my services too.

They seemed to have a zest for all things around family and children. They gave to the community but had no family of their own. They were interested in the goodwill of everyone. They gave and never took.

They were people of gentle habit. She got home earlier than he did, watered the garden, did some other chores, then awaited his phone call. He would ring just before leaving the hospital, or the surgery or from a phone box on the edge of a village after doing his rounds. This was a few years before the first mobile phones were available. She would lighten up, put a record on and prepare a drink. They only ever had one weak gin and tonic, no more. After supper they would dance, then sit in the garden and talk about their people. They did this every day into old age. If a meteorite whisked across the sky, or the first cuckoo could be heard, he would rush to find her to share the moment. Time seemed to stand still from the outside, but on the inside of their relationship the fire still burned with the intensity of a sun.

When he died he was buried in the churchyard just the other side of the low stone wall that ran the long edge of their garden. Halfway down was a gate through where she would go at sunset every summer's eve to take some cut flowers from the garden and sit with him.

username1724 · 16/11/2020 23:57

I was dating and getting nowhere. I'd slept with someone on our 5th date and he text me saying he didn't think we should see each other anymore. Then my new work colleague text me 10 minutes later. It was so easy, no games, he held off on sex, we now have 2 children. I really thought I wasn't good enough for anyone and after dating multiple guys and feeling like utter shit about myself my oh just came along, no fuss, and it felt right completely. It will happen!

Sunflower1970 · 17/11/2020 05:23

I was 38 when I met my now,husband. I’d been single for years, bit fussy. And finding nobody special - a few frogs... Saw all my friends settled down and having kids. Took a traumatic event ( cancer in my leg) to re-evaluate and I started actively looking. Met a widower with an 8 year old son and 12 years later .. it’s wonderful. I’m a stepmum to a lovely 20 year old who lost his mum when a baby and have a fantastic marriage. There are losers online but also like minded people like uswho aren’t going to meet their soulmate down the pub! Keep hoping and it will happen xx

madcow88 · 17/11/2020 07:53

Ended my second long term BAD relationship and took my 2 DDs on holiday with my brother and we ended up meeting one of his old friends in the kids club and thanks to too much alcohol we fell in love. We now live together and I am blissfully happy ❤️

Lavender79 · 17/11/2020 08:21

These stories are really heartwarming and uplifting. Like OP, I am single and often feel so lonely. I've been single since my short marriage broke up 11 years ago.

I've tried OLD but no luck sadly. I'm 41 now and do wonder if this is it. Friends tell me I'm a nice person to be around and I do make an effort with appearance etc. It just hasn't happened. I appreciate that you have to make the best of what life has to offer but I would so dearly love to share life with someone. Just to have a hug from someone after a long day. It would be lovely.

I'm not sure why I'm even writing this post. It's nice to read about positive stories.

CherryPavlova · 17/11/2020 08:37

Our son got engaged two weeks ago. It was lovely news in difficult times. Not unusual or special, but lovely nevertheless. Planning a smallish chateau wedding in 2022.

If age is a fret, my mother in law was distraught when she lost her husband of forty years to a brain tumour. We thought she’d be depressed forever. About four years she put a lonely hearts advertisement in the Telegraph and we suffered a few awkward lunches when we met the suitors. None seemed to be anything more than someone to have lunch with.
Then she went quiet. She stopped the twice daily tearful calls. She wanted lipstick, scent, face cream and cashmere for her birthday again. Very odd - but then she is.
We met him at their surprise engagement party. We were a bit worried about why he hadn’t surfaced before. We urged caution. She was worried about losing her late husband’s pension so co-habited for several years. We realised he made her happy. He brought back fun. She loves him. He loves her. The only concern for her was the ‘living in sin’. The Monsignor at the Cathedral said God wouldn’t mind. She didn’t believe him but a Catholic wedding was off anyway because he was divorced many years previously.
At the grand age of 82, after a good few years together, my husband walked his mother down the aisle of an Anglican Church to her second wedding. His brother did likewise for the Catholic blessing the Monsignor agreed to.
They live very happily ever after still, locked away from the virus doing crosswords, drinking Bordeaux each evening, walking their dog, zooming, eating smoked salmon and dark chocolate. It’s good.

Fressia123 · 17/11/2020 08:41

When I was 20-21 I was bored in class and with my best friend I wrote a list of the things my "ideal man" had to have.

He had to be British, ideally Scottish (bear in mind I'm American born and raised), long dark hair, had to play a black Les Paul, be in a band, light eyes, and oddly enough had to come from a farming background.
Well I'm marrying this man in April :) . The only difference between my list and real life was that he's from Norfolk and not Scotland!

Spritesobright · 17/11/2020 18:35

@GotOutAlive thanks for your lovely comments. Sounds like we've been through some similar experiences.
Life is crazy. It's definitely not the fairy tale romance I thought it was. But that's probably better.

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