How important are a person's political views when comes to relationships?

[Cybercubed]

I was looking at a Yougov poll with regards to Americans and how much a persons political views mattered to them when dating. It found around half of Americans would be uncomfortable dating someone from the opposite side of the political divide, Democrats were more likely to be uncomfortable (53%) dating a Republican than vice versa. That number was even higher among for Democrats when asked about dating a Trump supporter (71%). Only around 9% of all total marriages in the US are between a Republican and a Democrat. Very low.

today.yougov.com/topics/relationships/articles-reports/2019/10/24/politics-beliefs-friends-partners-poll-survey

I don't think the UK's quite as divided as the US is, but I think we're increasingly heading in that direction. I live in Northern Ireland and used to naively think NI was unique in this but clearly not.

How much does a persons political views matter to you when it comes to relationships? Could you date someone who votes UKIP or is a avid brexiteer, or someone who is a Corbyn supporter etc?

It depends on each other's values really, as has been said. My DH and I don't always vote for the same party, but we're floating voters. My DH has voted for the Green Party a few times; I don't as it's a wasted vote in our constituency (I'd vote for them myself under a different voting system but that's another thread!).

I don't think I'd be able to happily get involved with someone with extreme right-wing views (that's partly because of the attitude of my abusive F who was fanatically opposed to anyone who wasn't Tory).

But mostly it's about mutual respect, I can't cope with people who can't respect my right to have my own opinion (obviously if anyone's views are offensive that's a different issue). That's probably because of my F telling me what to think. My DM felt unable to be comfortable admitting to not voting Tory while he was alive, though.

@Pyewhacket

I think it would be difficult if you had a hardline dogmatic mindset and couldn't accept that other people are entitled to their own views and opinions.

This. My DH tends to be more conservative and I lean lib dem, next time we're both voting for Sir Starmer. We vote according to what we feel the country needs, not by party line. That's just brain dead. So how important is it? IMO it depends how narrow-minded and dogmatic one is. Like attracts like.

I couldn't shag a Tory

@PixelatedLunchbox that sounds like good news for Keir Starmer and Labour! I wonder how many Tories will make the switch next General Election?

Apparently on the dating apps here in America, people are stating whether they are maskers or anti-maskers, too. It's a deal-breaker point I guess.

It doesn't matter to me. People vote account to what they think is best for them or the country at the time. I wouldn't hold it against someone because their opinion was different to mine.
I did read somewhere that the right wing are happy to associate with the left because they just believe the left are wrong. But the left won't associate with the right because they believe the right are evil.
I don't know how much truth, of any, is in that. But you do see a hell.of a lot of moral superiority amongst the left while they are simultaneously throwing some other people's rights under the bus. So maybe there is something in it, since there's a failure to view things from any other perspective. (See 'all Brexiteers are racist', 'twaw', 'there's no anti-Semitism in the Labour party' )

I'm very middle of the road and tend to vote for the policies rather than party, that being said I could NEVER date a trump supporter

A swing voter, yes. Someone who avidly supports the Tories and all their policies, no. A brexit supporter, definitely not.
But then, an avid Tory wouldn’t want to date me either. I’m far too much of a bleeding heart liberal.

Fundamental.
Wouldn’t tolerate a Guardian reader or a BNP supporter. Middle ground can debate healthily.

I could be in a long term relationship with anyone in the centre ground, but would struggle to be in a relationship with someone who was a strong Tory or any of the more right wing parties as it would be a different set of values to me.

I remember being on Tinder, and starting a convo with someone who seemed perfectly normal. Late 30s. He suggested I do a datinq quiz he had put together (this is after we had exchanged maybe 3-4 messages). Once I answered it (thought it was just a bit of fun). He said he found it concerning that my responses didn't match his because it meant I wasn't a believer in socialism and not anti capitalism. I politely asked if that was an issue, and he went on a massive rant on why I should believe in socialism, why my views were dumb and why I was just plain wrong about everything.

I had to point out, he was a rude, condescending bell end, and was baffled why he would think he had the right to lecture a perfect stranger on their political beliefs on a DATING APP. Without even taking me on a date. I suspect he's a nightmare to date unless you follow his very specific political ideology.

Wed don,t always agree but we are not total opposites. There has to be some common ground but you don,t have to have the same oppinion on every thing.

It does really depend on the person. I can tolerate people who have different political views to me as long as they’re not extreme.
I wouldn’t tolerate racism, misogyny, homophobia or benefit bashing. Anything else is a difference of opinion and I’m fine with that.

^This. Also, people change. I was quite right wing in my late teens and early twenties . I'm much more towards the other end of the spectrum these days. I think it's supposed to happen the other way round isn't it? People usually get more right wing with age?

Entirely depends on the person, and their essential values. I’m a Labour Party member and probably by many people’s lights quite hard left. Have been with men who have ostensibly had a similar political profile, yet their essential values never really seemed to match my own.

Current boyfriend doesn’t even define as a socialist. And yet in core values seems more similar to me (and we do discuss politics relatively often) than any of the others.

So I would say it’s not such an issue what you define as, politically. But whether you can live with, admire and respect each others’ values.

Stubborn extremeness is just too difficult about anything not just politics.

Someone who is open to debate, including being able to admit they were previously under informed, or able to teach me something new and both being able to admit you might have been wrong to hold a particular view point and change your mind is more important than dogged beliefs.

My husband and I have opposing political views and make a point of not having political debates. We agree on core things like how to raise the kids etc. I can just tell them that their Dad is wrong politically!

Well I voted Tory in the last election and Remain in the referendum.

DH voted Labour and Leave.

But somehow we are roughly on the same page and have similar values.

I couldn’t be married to someone who voted for Corbyn. I am slightly right of centre so a bit left or right of me would be fine

I hope not very OP (good to read the responses) as me and DP are polar opposites. I’m Labour for life and he’s a complete Tory.
I think it works (so far!) because a) we don’t take life too seriously in general and b) we’ve had very different upbringings and I can understand how he’d want a party in charge that will protect what he has. Plus he’s not a twat which helps!

Party wouldn’t matter to me but there are certain underlying beliefs that probably would matter. For instance, I don’t think I could ever date a hardline Boris fan or Corbyn-ista.

As long as we both hover somewhere around the centre on most things, and hold our respective opinions based on having read and researched then it isn’t something which worries me. I’m a Labour voter; DP (American) generally votes Republican back home, though has swung Democrat based on some issues.

That said, I’d find it far more difficult to be with somebody on the left, who staunchly believed that every single one of the millions of people who vote Tory is racist, homophobia and wants all poor people to die, and refused to accept they could have any other reason for choosing a different mainstream political party to them. It’s a very narrow and wearing attitude to have to put up with.

Politics are very close to morals.

I feel like you can date someone only one level away from you.

Far left, mid left, middle, mid right, far right.

So far left and middle couldn't be together but a middle and mid right could be.

As long as someone isn’t racist, homophobic, sexist etc, all else is just a different opinion.
I would find it difficult to have a long term relationship with anyone who prescribed to very narrow extreme left/right views, or who felt entitled to shout other people down.
I do agree that I would struggle with a Trump supporter.

[quote MalorieSnooty]@PixelatedLunchbox that sounds like good news for Keir Starmer and Labour! I wonder how many Tories will make the switch next General Election?[/quote]
Not very many I should think.