My partner has always been a bit of a sulky, moody sod but very loving and supportive. He lost his job in April and has been suffering with depression since.
It’s not linear. Some days he’s ok and other days he can barely move off the sofa - just staring at his phone.
But our relationship is really suffering. He gets angry and annoyed at the smallest of things, blames me for all kinds of things, cold shoulders me and says I’m irritating. He also alway talks about my intentions behind things, i.e. “you did X, Y and Z because you were trying to undermine my parenting”. And so often I don’t recognise what he’s talking about and it feels really paranoid.
He also describes himself as useless and worthless so I know it’s his mental health talking and he’s projecting shit, but it’s really getting to me now.
Ive told him I want relationship counselling and he’s agreed. But he refuses to get any help for depression. He just thinks it will go when he gets a job. I’m not convinced.
I just don’t know how much slack I should be cutting him. I feel isolated and alone and our relationship is rock bottom.
I work full time, pick up at least 60% of looking after the kids and 50% of housework, but some weeks more. I’m just struggling to keep the show on the road. I have no time to myself at all.
What are ok boundaries when supporting a partner with depression?