Break up when pregnant

[milliem99]

Hi everyone,
new poster here so I’m so sorry if I do anything wrong. I was really hoping for some words of encouragement. After a beautiful relationship, which was very stable, my boyfriend turned around and said he wanted to leave without any warning. It only happened today and I’m heartbroken. I feel very alone and scared of having a baby alone when I never ever imagined this. I’m quite young as a mum and it all seems quite hard😞 hopefully there will be some helpful words i can get to make me feel better.
Thank you! Hoping for safe pregnancies for everyone ❤️

Sorry to hear this op.

How old are you and your baby?

It won't be easy, but you can do it.

thank you:) i’ll be 22 when it’s born and i’m only a couple months in. obviously it can be very overwhelming when not planned but i’m lucky to have a great family standing by me and savings alongside it. i think it’s just a time of complete shock and confusion.

That's a tough break.
Do you have family who can support you?

thankfully i do- extremely supportive and a sister who works with kids so i’ve learnt a lot from her after working alongside her for a few years. so i’m very lucky in that respect!

I’m sorry, that’s awful.

Take a few days to regroup and then plan your future without him.

thank you so much! sending lots of love and light your way. hope you’re doing okay!:)

Welcome to mumsnet - I'm sorry you've joined in such circumstances
Did he explain why?
How long had you been in a relationship for and were you living together?
How old are you and how far along in your pregnancy?
Do you have supportive family and/or friends living nearby?

Sorry for all the questions! But our advice might differ slightly depending on the answers.

This advice won't change, though:
He's a bastard for doing this, and even though it must hurt like hell now, you're better off without him. If you continue the pregnancy, plan to be a single mother and get support in place if you can. Give baby your surname, and don't put him on the birth certificate. You can (and should) still claim child maintenance from him. You may well be entitled to Universal Credit, too.

Sorry! I took so long writing my post that there have been loads since

How involved with Ex be? He may be leaving you but he may not be leaving the baby? Either way many single parents out there. Ginger bread is a good organisation that can give support.

thank you! he said everything was too much and he wasn’t in the right space for a relationship but we’ve been together for a couple of years so we all know that’s a cop out. i’ll be 22 when it’s full term and i’m only a couple of months(so i know there’s a chance of bad things happening at this stage!) i have a great, supportive family ans savings behind me which is a massive plus. He absolutely is. This is not the guy I fell in love with and it’s a horrible guy wrenching feeling. The baby was always having my surname but now I’m definitely not double barrelling it which I was thinking about! And absolutely. It takes two to tango. Thank you for all your help! :)

Thank you so much:) Great advice- it hurts but it’s the best way forward:) !!

He was quite muddled today so I couldn’t tell you- but I think he doesn’t even know himself. Which isn’t great!

don’t worry! thank you for taking the time!

Wow, I wasn’t expecting many responses at all. Thank you all so much for your help. It means the world on such a dark day!

I'm 35, had been married for 7 years and already had a son when my husband left me at 8 weeks pregnant. I was a wreck, but I'm now 32 weeks and much more together about it all. It feels like the darkest time, but you will honestly get through it. Being a mum is the thing that gets me out of bed in the morning.

I’m so sorry to hear that, that must be so incredibly tough. It’s been amazing hearing what you say though- my mum has said the same to me! Sending lots of love to you as I can imagine this must be a tough time. And wishing you a safe end of pregnancy! ❤️