Sex worried about DD hearing

[Redfacedxo]

My DD is 7 and a few weeks ago she said I really don't like it when you go ooo ahh and the bed shakes.
I was mortified haven't been doing it in the evening anymore have settled for afternoon sessions when DD is at school and we are both WFH.

DH wanted some tonight I thought DD was in bed asleep so he started trying it on I said yes to spooning quickie sex only started off and he starts fucking edging I'm not enjoying it all just anxious about DD !!!! I'd had enough of this shit so started trying to hurry him up he then says he wants me to get on top so he can finish (its his favourite position) which makes an almighty sound the bed squeaking. I come out of the room to go the loo and DDs awake playing on her iPad she didn't say anything but I'm mortified again.
Does anyone have any ideas we won't be working from home forever so we are going to have to have sex at night sometime.
I can't enjoy it anymore and dreading this is what my sex life is going to be like until DD leaves home.

Can you not just wait till she's asleep and do it then? Even if that means you stay up late. Move your bed to a different wall thats not against her bedroom wall, buy a new bed that doesnt squeak so you don't have any noise. And just... be quiet?

How late was it? Does she have her ipad in her room at night? If she's awake then she's bound to hear. Can you wait for her to fall asleep?
I heard my mum and dad (and later stepdad) as a child and it really disturbed me. I hated it so much and genuinely think it's had a long term impact 🙈

It was 10:30 pm and no she's never up that late she must have snuck her iPad upstairs because its the weekend.
I do remember my parents having sex once when I got up it hasn't scarred me and I have never mentioned it to them so I'm glad she told me she felt uncomfortable but now I'm worried all the time.

I think we will just stick to daytime as long as possible I really don't enjoy it at night time . The most annoying thing is my DH her father doesn't seem to care !

Buy a new bed.
Could you get a chair for your bedroom? Would that work for you on top instead of being on top on the bed?

It's definitely weird that he doesn't care that his daughter heard and is uncomfortable about it!

This isn't nice for either you or your daughter. Why would your partner want to be doing the deed when you are uncomfortable. Gross.

Why don't you check she's asleep first? Go in and check on her - remove device. Pop to loo and check back just in case.

I don't think hearing it a couple of times is damaging, but it is when the child has said they're uncomfortable.
What I found disturbing was the fact they knew I could hear and they knew it made me uncomfortable. I was upset that they put their sexual desires before my feelings and would cry while the the bed was banging on the wall! Sounds dramatic, I know, but at the time it was awful.
They weren't honest and open with me about it and afterwards would say nothing as they tried to pull themselves together which I found patronising.

We have a teenager who is up far later than us and DH and I have a fantastic sex life.

We invested in an expensive bed frame and mattress some time ago, so there are no squeaks and we tend to not be too vocal during sex as I wouldn’t want DS hearing that.

DH and I have always been very affectionate in front of DS. Cuddles; kisses; I’ve cuddled up on DHs lap; spooned on the sofa to watch telly with DH etc.

And recently when DS was upset following his girlfriend breaking up with him, he told me that he just wanted someone who he could have what me and his dad have. Even though he’s just 15, he recognises the special, loving relationship that his dad and I have.

So whilst we don’t go flaunting ‘sex’ in our house and we’ve taken a few measures to mitigate the noise, we just do as we please and it’s part of our loving, natural relationship. I’m not embarrassed about it and I don’t feel there is a need to be.

So buy a quieter bed for starters as then don’t worry about it.

I’d buy a new bed or fix yours so it doesn’t squeak; ours doesn’t and we are just very quiet.

I used to hear my parents when I was a teenager - every other night generally. Was on the one hand impressed at the frequency after 20 years together, but didn't want to hear it, so would put headphones on and listen to music. Don't feel affected in the least.
I do think if your bed is that noisey, it's time to get a new one, like others say, if it's against a connecting wall, then move it over. Being 7, she was up late, so check the situation before you go to bed. Btw, what is edging? Not familiar with that term

@DBML that's great and lovely that they see you as 'relationship goals'.
That's exactly the way to go about it.

Get a new bed.

Put a duvet in the floor and do it there.

@Babymamamama

This isn't nice for either you or your daughter. Why would your partner want to be doing the deed when you are uncomfortable. Gross.

Agree.

Sorry, as many parents of teens will tell you - this IS what your sex life is going to be like until DD leaves home!
Long live WFH I say - it's made all the difference in this house!

Eurgh. There's no excuse to have a squeaking bed so much so that it disturbs your daughter.

Absolutely baffled why you need to come on a forum to be told you need a less squeaky bed and more consideration for your dc. The mind boggles.

what on earth is 'edging'?

It's where the gentleman keeps himself on the "edge" of orgasming by stopping or slowing down a bit.

I'm always amazed at what Mumsnet hasn't heard of 😂

OP go for a divan base bed, I've tested this extensively and they are the least squeaky I've found, plus drawer storage is always a bonus. Put the TV or radio on and keep the "ooh ahh" down!

And as a PP suggested, go check on DD before you get going.

OP, get a divan bed... perfect as I'm sure there will be some Black Friday deals on soon..
When my now DH stayed over when I lived at home, we put the duvet on the floor, try that in the interim!

Yes i would get a new bed and keep the noise down.

Your real problem is that your DH doesnt care about his daughter's discomfort and clearly favoured his own pleasure over your discomfort and wishes to make it quick. So actually he doesnt care about either of your discomfort does he

get a lock for the door, a bed that doesn't squeak, check she's asleep first, and keep the noise down. Maybe even put some music on to -drown- disguise any moans?

There was a time where we had 3 teenagers in our house. Wandering around the landing at night or coming home at 3am. We used to set the alarm for an early morning quickie (they would definitely be asleep lazy gits) or just Chuck the duvet on the floor and get down to it

Why did you agree to go on top when you were uncomfortable about it? If you wanted a quiet quickie it’s ok to tell him no. He sounds selfish if he can’t understand why he needs to be a bit more discreet now that DD is growing up.