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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is there more to life?

4 replies

Boymomagain · 12/11/2020 20:41

I’m new here, needed an outlet to write my feelings before I scream! I’m currently in my 2nd trimester with child no 2. We’ve got a lot going on we’re moving home, new job and baby on the way. I’ve felt a lot more anxious this time around and I don’t know why? I don’t feel stressed about the whole house move ect just constantly worried the baby is ok. I used to have anxiety attacks a lot when I was younger but haven’t for years but I’m feeling the signs of it again - lump in my throat ect. My partner has recently complained of having anxiety so we all rallied round for him and got him help, however when I even suggest I’m not feeling myself he rolls his eyes and it almost makes me feel like I’m not allowed to feel that way. So now I don’t talk to him about it, the person I used to feel closest too and It’s making me feel detached from him. I appreciate he is obviously going through something too he’s comes home constantly sat on his phone, hates feeling bored in the house and has to be out and about but then he won’t do anything productive with his days off - like help his pregnant partner pack! He comes home from work and falls asleep by 7pm with no interest in talking to me or getting excited (or even pretending to be excited) about house or baby plans I have. If I wasn’t pregnant I honestly would have given up now as he’s making me feel really horrible, I feel trapped almost. I do often wonder what other people’s relationships are like? Does everyone just settle eventually? Or is there always something there for you? Am I looking for something that is never going to be there? Typing this at 8:30pm he’s upstairs snoring and has been for 40 minutes. IS THERE MORE TO LIFE THAN THIS? #relationshipproblems

OP posts:
FippertyGibbett · 12/11/2020 20:45

I’m years ahead of you and wish I’d jumped years ago when my DH had anxiety. Now I ask myself the same thing, does everyone settle ?
I fantasise about living without him.

Boymomagain · 12/11/2020 20:51

I’m glad it’s not just me! I feel guilty saying it out loud but I do the same I don’t even want anyone else, I sit and plan this imaginary life of my own and what I would do if we weren’t together. Is everyone else really happy or are we all just coexisting?

OP posts:
Modestandatinybitsexy · 13/11/2020 06:44

Is he being proactive about help? What is he doing to manage his anxiety?

Aside from that he's being an arse, he should be helping you, his pregnant partner, pack your shared belongings, pulling his weight with your eldest dc when he's not working, and supporting you in the way you supported him with your health. He's not doing any of those things and he needs to step up.

Have you spoken to your midwife or gp about the way you feel?

FippertyGibbett · 13/11/2020 06:49

Have you spoken to anyone in your family about how you feel ?
Did he fully agree to a second child ?
Do you think he will be more helpful when baby arrives ?

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