Dp just finished with me...

[FriedTomatoe]

Completely out of the blue. He feels he "can't give me what I need". He's had periods of being depressed and his behaviour has been erratic at times but I thought we were working through things.

What's making it worse is that I found out he has been going through my phone for the past couple of months. In our argument he said things that I have only told close friends and it was stuff I had said about him.

I know I can't take him back but I feel so sad.

That's crap. Sorry.

What a dick. He dowsnt deserve you! Good riddance and try not to get your slip as a result.

Oh you poor thing. That’s shit, coming completely out of the blue like that.

I’m afraid to say, when they start that shit it’s usually because there’s someone else. Don’t be surprised if another woman comes crawling out of the woodwork at some point soon. Brace yourself.

Hope you can get some sleep tonight

I kicked him out of my house when he started with the speech.

Is the answer always another woman?

I’m so sorry. How long have you been together and are you sure this is it for you? You said he has depression, sounds like that could be a factor.

So he's been spying on your phone? Why would a secure and sane man do that? Oh yeah, he wouldn't. Keep rid of him, he's taking the piss. And this has other woman written all over it.

No, the answer isn't always another woman! (Whatever they insist on MN, it wasn't for mine.) However, he might have had his head turned - not the same thing as having developed feelings for a specific someone else.

So sorry you are in this situation. I do think that him having been depressed is highly relevant; but don't drown trying to 'save' him. He's an adult. Very hard to get a relationship back after the trauma of this, a lot of the damage caused by his sudden leaving will be on a subliminal level; your trust will have gone out the window and you need to think of yourself first from now on.

If he wants you back he must work so hard to prove it that there is no doubt in your mind he won't do the same thing again. Unfortunately, therein lies the problem... xx

We were together 2 1/2 years. He always gets depressed around this time. I feel sad but I know for my own sanity I can't go back. This time last year he was depressed and we nearly finished then but after I helped him through it he started telling me how the only person he wanted was me and he realised how wrong he had been to push me away. Yesterday was different though- he told me I was odd and when I accused him of going through my phone he got so defensive and said "this is the crazy shit I expect from you". It had guilty written all over it.

No, the answer isn't always another woman! (Whatever they insist on MN, it wasn't for mine.) However, he might have had his head turned - not the same thing as having developed feelings for a specific someone else.

It would be the same thing to me. If my DP had his head turned to the extent that he left me, I would take that as a clear signal that I wasn’t what he wanted. If you’ve been able to get past that, well done, you’re a stronger woman than I am.

OP “it has guilty written all over it” - his behaviour stinks, I’d let him go. Sorry

Trying to gaslight you into thinking you're the 'crazy' one, despite the fact that he is the one who has been spying on you and violating your privacy - pure projection. You deserve better than someone who treats you like this, regardless of their reasons for doing so.