Ending a relationship

[JMC27]

My relationship should have ended years ago, but I have never been brave enough to do it. I keep coming back to the same issues, that don't really match with what I want from a relationship. They are a brilliant step parent and have fully embraced that role, but I am not getting what I want/need from them in a relationship.

I have a son from a previous relationship, who's Dad died a few years ago in a car accident.

My biggest fear is that If I end the relationship, I am taking away another father figure.

I know deep down I should not stay for my son. But I am really worried about the impact that this could have on him.

I keep going back to the point that I shouldn't settle and I deserve my equal.

Can you elaborate a bit further with what your partner is unable to give you in the relationship?

There are a number of issues that have never been resolved, including, money, sex, life ambitions etc

Regardless I am not getting what I want from the relationship.

We have now gone too far to try and change things. I feel like I am living with a friend

Your unhappiness will leak out from you and you wont really notice it but your child will, subconsciously. I would sit him down and explain how you feel and what is likely to happen next. Your son deserves to know the truth. Leave and begin your life again. Take some time out for yourself and your son to rebuild. I am sorry for your loss of your husband.

I read the first sentence and my mouth dropped. You have wasted YEARS in a shit relationship; years that you’ll never get back; years that could have been spent feeling happier as your relationship issues are still present now. You have been pondering breaking up for years. You know what you need to do. No point wasting any more of your life.

How old is your son? I think your son would understand one day, even if it’s a bit hard for him now. It’s not guaranteed that he would take the break up hardly either, he might adjust without issue.

To be honest I don't feel happy any more. I feel like that I am just plodding along.

It hasn't been a shit relation per se, it has just not been what I wanted if that is something different. But the truth is that I have been pondering this for years.

My son is only 7, so old enough to know what is happening, but young enough to be able to not really understand. He will have this whole segment (including step grandparents etc) taken away from him.