Some advice needed

[Jayted]

I have 2 ds aged 9 and 11. I broke up with their dad around 5 years ago and was at such a low point in my life I jumped into another relationship too soon. My self esteem is rock bottom, I don’t work due to my confidence and self esteem causing severe depression. What my problem is, the man I’ve been with for the past 6 years has constantly lied. I have found him on dating sites at least 20 times and he always says it’s because I’m not doing something right in the relationship. 2 weeks ago, I was snooping because I had my suspicions and found he had been on ‘dirty’ kik, basically chatting to women sending pics of each other etc. I would like peoples opinions on if you would class this as cheating. I feel so low and angry at myself for letting him be part of my boys lives and I feel like I have wasted the best years of mine and the boys lives. I have no friends as I lost my network when I stopped work and also he doesn’t like me seeing anybody.I have no one to talk to like family and I feel totally lost and betrayed. Please help and I Thankyou in advance if you take the time to offer me any words of advice.

I had left the boys dad before this relationship started, sorry about the confusion with 5 ans 6 years!

Hi op sorry you are going through this .
Hes a shitbag and you know you need to end it .dont waste anymore of your life and your childrens lives .
When you say he doesn't like you seeing anyone that's abusive and control of you.

Put your big girl pants on and tell him to leave .
Easier said than done but you can find the strength just dig deep .
Good luck

Thanks XX I know you are right, my dad is terminally ill too, so he’s even more of a scum bag doing it now

He's treating you like shit and you know it. You know deep down that you are worth so much more than this. Draw on that knowledge and make serious and realistic plans to leave. Then do it. Don't discuss with him or try to change him. He can't. Good luck, you can do it.

Soz to say but id leave. It is cheating why would someone whos in love with a women have even the thought of entertaining other women/men. Run and find yourself first my lovely, do things that make you feel like a human again and you will see how you even allowed this man to treat you like this. I know its easier said then done but hes not respecting you and he never will till u set boundaries and show him you ain't no doormat xxx

Yes, this is definitely cheati OP. X

Cheating x

@Jayted

Thanks XX I know you are right, my dad is terminally ill too, so he’s even more of a scum bag doing it now

They really like to kick you when you're down, don't they

I'm sorry you're going through this. I imagine your self esteem and mood will soar when you don't have this shit of a 'man' in your life

If 100 of us say cheating, is it going to make a difference?
You say he's spent 6 years lying to you and you've found him on dating sites 20 times? But you're still with him.
You need to pick yourself up by your bootstraps and kick him to the kerb. You are worth far more than this.
You'll be amazed at how your self esteem will change when you dump the tosser.

Yes, its cheating. I would class it as that. I'm so sorry.
You are far, far better off without this awful man in your life.

Yes I look back now and absolutely hate myself, when you’re confidence and self esteem is zero and I can’t even look in the mirror it’s hard, but I realise I must learn to like myself first

Thankyou ladies, I thought it was me over reacting but you have all said what my instincts tell
Me

Disloyalty and disrespect is not limited to inserting penises inside other people.

The dude is is dud.

Happy to be some one to talk to if you like?