Hi. I hope you can help me with this.
I dated a man for a several months. We split up just over a month ago mainly because of lockdown/work pressures and the fact he'd slumped into a bit of a depression because of it. I broke up with him but he was fine with it as he wasn't in a great place. We have a lot of pre-existing mutual friends and so we both wanted to remain 'friends'.
I didn't really expect anything to come of that but we actually get on a lot better as friends and text/phone weekly and have been out a couple of times (before new lockdown hit). The friendship thing does seem to be genuinely working - he phoned last night and we had a really nice chat for an hour or so. I think we are far better suited as friends and we get on a lot better. There's been no talk of 'us'. He's in a much better place now because his personal/work situation has improved. I am fond of him but only platonically. I don't have feelings for him. I believe that is mutual.
Then, a couple of weeks ago, I met someone else - completely out of the blue. I wasn't looking and certainly wasn't interested in meeting anyone but we got talking, got on well, saw each other a couple of times before new lockdown and once (outside) since. We are in brief contact every day. I only ever take things slowly emotionally - no 'falling in love'. Obviously, it's very early days with him - literally a few dates - but he seems quite keen and I like him. It would be nice see where it goes.
Neither of them know about the other. It's an odd situation for me. I've never bothered trying to remain friends with an ex before and I wouldnt normally meet someone so quickly! I'm usually single for a good 6-12 months at least between at least. I'm not 'dating'.
New man doesn't know I'm still friends, talk and have met up with a recent ex as friends. Recent ex doesn't know there is a new man on the scene.
He's asked me to bubble with him since neither of us have a support bubble and I've had a negative test since recent ex and I split up so I think that's fine. It's like a clean slate. And I'm supposed to be going to his at the weekend when, presumably, sex will be on the cards.
Am i doing anything wrong? Do I need to tell recent ex I've been on a few dates with someone? Do I need to tell new man that one of the friends I've told him about meeting up with is a recent ex?
Obviously, if either of them had a problem with it, that would be their issue/potentially a red flag. However, I would want to know if someone was meeting up with a recent ex as friends if I'm honest. I wouldn't necessarily have problem with it but I'm very big on openness and honesty and I feel that I'm being deceitful. Even though I've not behaved inappropriately and if recent ex suggested trying again, I'd say no - regardless of the new man. I just wouldn't want it to come out at a later date and for it to look like I'd been hiding it. But at the same time, it feels like I'd be 'announcing' something that doesn't yet feel it needs to be announced.
Not a teenager, honestly, i just want to do the right thing by everyone and not behave deceitfully. Thanks.