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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Emotional Affair

17 replies

Yellowsunnyd · 11/11/2020 00:33

Ok here goes... I’m looking for some advice please.

I’m married with 2 children (12 and 8) and been with my husband since I was 20 (I’m not 38). We get along well although he gets very stressed with work and doesn’t spend much time with the kids. He tends to hide away in the evenings smoking or going out golf at the weekends. Our physical relationship pretty much fizzled out a long time ago perhaps when the kids came along. I sort of feel like a single mum as he’s not very involved. We’ve talked about it at times in the past and say that things need to change (I agree I need to work harder at it too), but we sort of drift along.

I found out by chance last weekend that he has been texting another women. She lives in another country and they play online gaming together. I saw his phone on the side with kiss emojis... started shaking and asked him outright. He said we’re just friends but looked guilty as hell. I only saw a few messages. He stays up really late playing this game and has for months. I just let him thinking it helped him relax (lol the irony).

We talked, he said he crossed the line but that most of the texts were about the game, he said it just got out of control, he said it’s only been recently, that he doesn’t even know what she looks like.

I was shocked, we talked a lot, about the kids, what we should do. I thought he would stop messaging her as I said this could mean the end of our marriage.

Fast forward a week and I looked on his phone while he was asleep and discovered they had sent photos to each other weeks ago, some from our house, others at golf, he had talked about his birthday, shared kid photos of themselves, they had been messaging 100 of times a day. She didn’t know he was married and had kids. He still didn’t tell her after I found out.

He had messaged her to say he’s so sorry he hurt her feelings, that she’s ace, that they can’t do the messages they did before (sexting), it reads like he’s been told he can’t not that he doesn’t want to. So in that week they had still been messaging! Saying good morning how are you, talking about the game, work, goodnight etc.

So I told him I’m broken, my daughter is going through a difficult teenage like time and having counselling. I can’t stand to think of hurting her, my son is less aware. I told him I needed space and he’s moved to this mums for a few days.

We’ve exchanged text messages and as of yesterday they were still talking as friends.... It’s like he can’t let her go, he says the game makes him feel good as he’s so far up the league on it but in reality I think it’s her making him feel wanted and desired. Today he told her he wants to save his marriage. However... I asked for a copy of the text, expecting just one texts that’s it, final.... and there were pages of it... him apologising, telling her she is a good person. I queried this and he said it’s not her fault, he can’t be mean to her. Yet... he’s still got the messages so clearly not deleted the chat app (game chat).

There was even a message from a few days ago where he sent her a photo of his dashboard with the song “best thing I never had” and text saying potentially fitting with a shrug emoji.... I asked him and he got a bit shirty saying wtf I’ve told her and oh ffs...

Advice please

Hurt/angry/scared

OP posts:
Anordinarymum · 11/11/2020 00:38

Bloody online gaming........ he is putting all his emotions into someone else with no life.

Tell him to quit the game. Deliver an ultimatum.

I have been here. The game took over his life completely, and he developed friendships with people he would never meet. I made him quit the game.

Yellowsunnyd · 11/11/2020 00:41

Oh and he deleted the messages of him “breaking up with her” which he sent me on WhatsApp after I suggested he asks someone else to read them, as they read like he doesn’t want to let her go, he’s told me sorry and that he wants to change but she’s literally had reams of sorry messages from him and I don’t think I’ve got one (just our conversation).

I feel like it’s over for us and I can accept that but what’s a million times harder is how I support the kids and how they will feel. Arguably they will probably have more of his attention if we split up. I just feel like a failure for them, they deserve better. I want to be strong and I am on the surface for them but I’m just crying inside :(

OP posts:
Yellowsunnyd · 11/11/2020 00:44

Thanks, I thought he would have quit it last weekend but he said his account is really valuable, worth £500 and carried on playing... did you partner doesn’t to women or just gaming chat?

OP posts:
londonscalling · 11/11/2020 00:49

You are not the failure to your children, your husband is. They do deserve better ... from him!

Give him an ultimatum that he stops messaging her and playing the game or he's out for good.

He sounds like a teenager rather than a husband and father!

Anordinarymum · 11/11/2020 00:50

My bloke played all the time. Night and day, weekends.. had his meals at the computer. He bought software. He said he was high up in the game and it was valuable. He had different accounts. He had a woman avatar and I am sure it was the name of a woman in his league. They were all very friendly and chatted all the time.
It was as if he had another life. I suspected there was something going on but knew it was online stuff only.

I gave him an ultimatum.

He ended it. It was either the game or me.

Yellowsunnyd · 11/11/2020 01:05

Thanks both, I sort of feel like I gave him an ultimatum and he’s still been messaging her (albeit as “friends”)... I don’t know what to do, so I’m probably not ready to make a decision. It doesn’t feel like he’s really fighting for us, just trying to comfort her x

OP posts:
MonroeM · 11/11/2020 01:06

My brother-in-law aged 44 is a "gamer" and has two monitors sitting side by side on his desk (what is that all about?) which he sits at for hours 7 nights a week. He shuts himself out while those headphones are on. My sister tells me he is completely addicted but she feels it is better than him being addicted to gambling and she doesn't seem too bothered by it all but if that was me I would not put up with it.
Maybe she is just glad of the peace.

Anordinarymum · 11/11/2020 01:11

@Yellowsunnyd

Thanks both, I sort of feel like I gave him an ultimatum and he’s still been messaging her (albeit as “friends”)... I don’t know what to do, so I’m probably not ready to make a decision. It doesn’t feel like he’s really fighting for us, just trying to comfort her x
The thing is.. when someone invests all of their time and emotion into a game, they are not thinking straight. I know this. It is as if the game takes over their life and gives happiness and makes them feel powerful when it is only a game.

These online games are responsible for the breakdown of marriages/relationships. they rob children of a parent, and they take over that person's life to the extent where they get irritable when they are away from the game.

The only way to deal with it is to STOP.

My bloke played about fifteen years ago. It was a bad time in our lives but he never went back and admits it was almost like a drug.

Limeandlemon · 11/11/2020 06:41

So the game is more valuable than your marriage? So your marriage and kids isn’t worth £500 to him?
He’s not putting you or the kids first. He should be grovelling big time
And fighting for you.
Ditch this man child and move forward with your life. Yes it’s scary but clearly he’s made his decision.
You and the kids will be fine.
You need to show him you are serious and you won’t put up with this behaviour. He’s being a shit husband and a shit dad and you all deserve far better. Don’t allow him to treat you and the kids like this, the kids will think this behaviour is ok in future relationships.

MMmomDD · 11/11/2020 11:34

When I read the description of your relationship - his chatting to an online game player in another country seems like the least of your issues.
Your relationship went stale and neither of you are making much effort. There hasn’t been intimacy for 10+ years???

So - you do what most women in your situation do - focus/busy yourself with the kids. And he has found escape in an online game. Chatting to a woman who also plays is just part of it - an escape. She lives in another country, they haven’t even known what each other look like. It’s hardly a real connection to another person - just an extension of a game and escapism.

I think the two of you need to figure out what you are doing as a couple. You met and settled very young. It often happens to couples who do that - that by 40s those relationships run into trouble. As both of you have grown up and changes a lot since you met as young people. So - you either reconnect and find that you still like each other as mature grown ups, or go separate ways.
Have you ever considered/tried relationship counselling???

Yellowsunnyd · 11/11/2020 12:26

Thank you mmmom did, I appreciate you taking the time to reply.

I’m so hurt at the moment I swing from wanting to work past it to wanting to give up. We could look at couples counselling... that’s a good suggestion.

I find myself crying a lot, thinking, hurting, I know and fully accept I’m part of this awful situation

OP posts:
Dery · 11/11/2020 13:01

The other thing is, OP, that it isn’t just about the lack of intimacy between you and him. It sounds like he’s never really been part of the family.

If he’s working full time during the week, he shouldn’t be spending weekends out playing golf. That is his best opportunity to build a relationship with his children. For that reason, I don’t think it’s just a case that both he and you should be working more on the intimacy between you. He should be working more on being part of the family he has helped create.

That’s what full-time working parents do. They prioritise spending time with their children at weekends. It sounds like he has never done this.

So if you do try couples counselling, you might also want to look at how he can become a more active member of your family. His increased participation in the family may also help with the emotional difficulties that your daughter is experiencing. He needs to hurry up and build that connection now - as children become teenagers, they naturally live more independent lives and spend less time with the family and he may lose his opportunity to create a meaningful bond with his children if they’re just used to him not being around.

Fivefatsausages · 11/11/2020 19:49

My thoughts are, and may get a backlash here, but I’m very much in the camp affairs are not as black and white as everyone makes out. I take a rather French view on the situation.

  1. Don’t do anything irrational - we all make mistakes. Life is emotionally tough at the moment and it will be easy to for him to escape to this fantasy.
  1. I would ask him to put boundaries on with the gaming. Pause for a while. Being overly controlling will push him away and not give him the space he needs. Encourage him to play golf.
  1. Build on the relationship but slowly and give yourself the ability to have space too. Do your own thing separate from your husband in case you do separate.
  1. You shouldn’t check his messages again and you shouldn’t use this event as power over him - you forgive and move on.

Wishing you all the best - it’s tough but take a deep breath, see from his perspective and look
over the long term.

A number of elderly people I know who really do love one another and have been married many years have had affairs in their time.

XxxFlowers

Yellowsunnyd · 11/11/2020 21:03

Thank you fivefatsausages x

OP posts:
Siw2020 · 11/11/2020 21:32

@Fivefatsausages

My thoughts are, and may get a backlash here, but I’m very much in the camp affairs are not as black and white as everyone makes out. I take a rather French view on the situation.
  1. Don’t do anything irrational - we all make mistakes. Life is emotionally tough at the moment and it will be easy to for him to escape to this fantasy.
  1. I would ask him to put boundaries on with the gaming. Pause for a while. Being overly controlling will push him away and not give him the space he needs. Encourage him to play golf.
  1. Build on the relationship but slowly and give yourself the ability to have space too. Do your own thing separate from your husband in case you do separate.
  1. You shouldn’t check his messages again and you shouldn’t use this event as power over him - you forgive and move on.

Wishing you all the best - it’s tough but take a deep breath, see from his perspective and look
over the long term.

A number of elderly people I know who really do love one another and have been married many years have had affairs in their time.

XxxFlowers

This.

I think we're so quick as a society (especially on MN where nobody knows eachother or their DPs) to give up/quit/separate.

I think people do this because they think or are told that they "deserve better" but I think its quite rare that the alternative is better (if it is, then great right decision) but a lot of the time there is still a lot of love in the relationships people give up on all because of a distraction that is just that - a distraction, not love, not investment of many years and building up of a life together.

I'm not saying its always wrong to separate. I am sure it is in many people's cases.

When I was younger (I'm still young ~30) I used to think that if I ever got cheated on or x/y/z then there would be no doubt, I have more respect for myself than to stay etc. I still haven't been cheated on thankfully but have maintained a relationship for 7 years and realised that its better to work through minor issues, our relationship means so much than throwing it away for something that can be resolved.
Perhaps I'm strange for thinking this next statement.. but I feel like so many memories have been made in my 20s (with and without DP) that it would be a huge shame if I ever had to start over with someone else. So many plans made for the future too, I don't know if I'd have the energy to invest like this again or even the ability to love so fully.

Siw2020 · 11/11/2020 21:34

Oops premature send - keep at it OP. If this was enough for you to leave the decision would be clearer in your mind. He is not in denial, he has owned up to and recognises its a mistake. Now he needs to put the work into your relationship/family (as do you re:relationship) - I wish you all the best. If he doesnt, then I wouldnt blame you at all for separating, but for now I think it is definitely worth fighting for what you once had.

Onthedunes · 11/11/2020 22:08

I personally think this lady has conceded quite enough in her marriage and pp is asking her to put up with even more.

She feels heart snubbed on top of that.
In her words he has repeatedly said sorry to this ow and flippantly apologised to her.

You either get angry and impose boundaries with immediate action, otherwise it will be too late and he will ruin everything, if he hasn't done that already in yours eyes.

He has fair warning.

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