Is the grass greener?

[Aimee654]

I just want to know if there is more to life ?
I'm in my early 30s, I have 2 kids and I love my husband. I just don't know if I am in love with him anymore. We've been together since we were teens and I wonder if my relationship is normal or if there should be more too it ,should I feel more in love? I feel like maybe i am staying in this relationship for my kids but I'm worried that I feel this way because I have unrealistic expectations from our relationship based on what I think other peoples relationships are like.
Anyone else feel like this?

My best advice. Don’t compare to others.

Once heard the phrase
“The only happy people I know are people I don’t know well” meaning the closer you are to people the more you realise their life’s and relationships aren’t perfect. It’s easy to compare to someone you don’t know all that well or aren’t that close to.

Is the grass greener - not always I do understand how you feel, I was married from a young age for 18 years, I thought it was good but not in love, it does fade but what I did have was commitment and companionship (not my choice to end it) but being single now, it's so hard to find a man that wants the same level of commitment, having to weed out the bad from the ok you'll do and even then they don't want commitment, the exciting in love feelings have come and gone for a few but none that I would want to stay with.
So I'll say unless your really unhappy I wouldn't say the grass is greener, it might be for some but that's a big gamble.

The grass is never greener it's how you water the grass

I don't think the grass is greener, and I dont think most people are "in love" after a long marriage, or maybe they are but it depends how you define "in love" really. From what I can tell romance is a biological thing that lasts 1-2 years, enough time to have a baby. After that it's more companionate love, which is not a bad thing - you can't spend your own life like a loved up teen, you'd never get anything done.

Having said that don't stay in an unhappy marriage on my account. Can you tell us more about what specifically you are unhappy about, it is arguing, lack of connection, sex problems, boredom?

The grass is never greener it's how you water the grass

This^^

Grow where you're planted.

Whether the grass is greener or not, it still needs mowing.

It's normal for the starry eyed feeling to change into something more comfortable and less exciting. Is he kind to you? Do you enjoy his company?

The grass is only greener coz it’s fertilised with shit.

“The only happy people I know are people I don’t know well”

This is bollocks. And a really sad way of thinking about life, family, marriage and love. Does it really make you feel better about life not being what you hoped for thinking that everyone is as miserable?

OP, the comments about the grass being greener where you water it are true. Invest in what you have, practise gratitude and do what you can to make your life what you want it.

For what I have observed over the years, all my friends marrying and divorcing then marrying again, all I see is the next marriage throwing up just another set of issues. The next marriages aren't any better than the first and my friends who are still in the first marriages are just like yours. Just getting on with it. Lockdown has also caused a lot of boredom and deep thinking about everything. I recommend that once lockdown is over go out and do some hobbies, get baby sitters in and do stuff with your hubby that will be exciting. That will boost your marriage no end.

I know how you feel. What are the unrealistic expectations that you think you have? If you expect 100% perfection from everything then that's unrealistic, what matters is what is important to you. If that part of your relationship isn't meeting your needs then it's not unrealistic to expect that to be near perfect, if you can except that the parts that are less critical to you might not have to be perfect.

Was that bit ever perfect?