Partner depressed and irritable

[Jane877]

I am a HSP which doesn't help and very in touch with my emotions.
I don't know if it's just me but he can be quite irritable, but I may just be too sensitive.
Like sometimes he will act like what I have said is stupid, he will get annoyed I I say something that seems obvious.
The other morning I was getting ready for work, he was in bed, his phone was buried in a pile of clothes and had no battery so i moved it to the desk. He woke up and said, "Why are you touching my phone ?"
I've never read it before or anything like that or implied I don't trust him.
He put me on his credit card to help build my score and I decided to use it for a small amount and then pay it off. He was questioning me saying 'And why is it you need to use it now exactly ?'
I have some debt but not that much and i'm in a good financial position paying it off. I've never lost him any money or anything like that. Spent £12 on it then had messages from him asking what the purchases were.
Then, I suggested putting a fixed credit limit on it to keep track, and he said it 'worried' him. It's like he doesn't trust me, and makes me feel like a child even though i'm older.
I have mentioned to him before that he's irritable and he apologised and said that he's just fatigued, but it's happening again.
He's depressed and I have urged him several times to seek professional help, but he says his meds don't work and he hasn't gotten anywhere with counselling. Not sure what else I can suggest.

I think he has a harsh side to him. Like we read something about gym owners going bust and he said, 'So what ? They should have had a second income.'
I then commented on it being cruel to not allow people to visit relatives, especially isolated or elderly ones and he was quite dismissive of it.
Sometimes if I give an opinion on something he will say "Well what do you want me to do ?"

What was the last fun thing you and your partner did?

Do you even like each other?

Doesn't sound like he's bringing you much joy.

What’s a HSP?

HSP = highly sensitive person. Scientific term is sensory processing sensitivity.

OP, I'm also HSP, so completely understand being affected by your boyfriend's emotions.

On the debt thing, hard to say without the full details but he sounds like he could simply worried you were going to start racking up debt again on his credit card which would then sink his own credit score. Did you let him know before you made the purchases? Unless caused by extenuating circumstances, getting into debt is ultimately about lack of self control. I know people who mismanage(d) money, choose not to save properly etc and there's a level of denial about their actions and their lack of self control, which as someone (like your boyfriend) who has always managed money fine and sees budgeting as a normal adult activity, is quite alarming and stressful.

On his other behaviour, do you call him out on it each time he does it e.g. phone? Don't bottle anything up and stand up for yourself and explain your actions. Read Elaine Aron's book on HSP in love, if you haven't already. Found it very helpful when dealing with non-HSPs.

It doesn't sound like a great relationship.