Single Ladies Join Me!

[Mermaidwaves]

After separating from an unhappy 17 year marriage last year, and then a miserable year of disastrous online dating (social distancing) and having my heart badly broken by a casual fling, I've decided to listen to advice from friends and here and go it alone.

I've come to the realisation that I need to learn to be alone and accept and love myself. I haven't ever done this as I was married young and since splitting have been chasing men looking for 'the one'. I've just deleted my POF account and due to lockdown won't be meeting any men in real life. I feel a bit anxious about embracing the single life fully, are there any others out there who would care to join me and support each other?

I will join you ladies, I've been single for four years after separating from my partner of 26 years we met very young. I been on two OLD which were disastrous so ditched that pretty quickly. I then had my heart broken by somebody I considered a friend. So it's time to embrace single life and enjoy the freedom.

Room for one more?

Left my marriage early this year after 15 years, 2dc. I got ghosted last night (after speaking to him via video call earlier in the day about plans for today 🙄) This happened an hour after my ex asked if he could introduce his new gf of a month to the kids.

Dating is officially shit and it's back to concentrating on myself.

Honestly op it's not as bad as you think.

I think it’s easier if you’ve lived on your own a long time before this pandemic started. I’ve lived on my own for 12 years so am very used to alone time. Other than fleeting hellos with neighbours I’ve not seen anyone in weeks. Do chat on the phone, messaging etc though. Try and remind yourself this time will pass and hopefully 2021 will be brighter and more hopeful. I really hope so!!

Someone mentioned Pokemon Go... is this fun? What’s it like??

@shayelle2009

I did the Harry Potter one with the dc last year and that's was pretty fun

I’ve found that making the conscious decision to stay single is like a weight lifting from my shoulders. No more dodgy dates, no more ghosting, no more analysing and stressing. My last dating experience was in 2017, he wanted to spend every minute together and when I ended our (2 week) “relationship” he threatened suicide! At that point I just thought “what am I doing?” I like to consider myself to be reasonably intelligent but I had completely bought into the whole idea that you need a relationship to be happy.

Some things I’ve noticed since then, are that the longer you stay alone the more comfortable you become with it. The more time that passes the less I would want someone encroaching on my time and space. Pets do help I think. I got 2 cats a year ago and having cat cuddles fulfils my human need for affection. I do make the most of having no one to answer to or consider. One of the things I did was go and live in Tokyo for 3 months learning (basic) Japanese. Fantastic experience. My house is decorated exactly how I want. It’s my haven. I spend my free time doing my hobbies or watching what I want to watch on TV. If I want to slouch in my PJ’s (a common occurrence!) I can without needing to “make an effort”.

Do I sometimes miss having someone to snuggle up and watch a movie with or go out to dinner with? Yes of course. But the “price” of being in a relationship is too high for those odd enjoyable moments in my opinion. And it’s not as if eligible decent men are beating down at my door! I’d have to find one first! On balance I am happier now than I have ever been in any of my past relationships. And I am a million times happier than when I was torturing myself with the world of online dating.

When my (16) year marriage ended,I spent two and a half years living in the same house as my ex. It was hell

I’ve now lived in my own home with my children for almost 3 years.......so single for 5 years

My ex left me emotionally damaged. I don’t know if I can ever trust a man again to not hurt me

It feels safer (and easier) to stay single. Although I do miss the company sometimes

@Shayelle2009

Hey all! I’d love to join please. Been single over 4 years. I’ve tried OLD for a year, all the sites, but completely gave up a few weeks ago as I found it was becoming really detrimental to my soul and mental health! I feel like it’s literally the worst side of humanity. It’s actually sad. I have felt so much better and back to being ME since I deleted all that crap. Ive accepted I’m going to just be single and happy now, and I really feel such a sense of peace and liberation about it. I hated the whole culture of OLD. Lovely to meet you all 😊🌸🌻

This ^^ a million times over. OLD is dreadful and for the most part a waste of time. It killed any hope I had left. So many men sending abusive overly sexual messages it just made my skin crawl. I'm much better since I deleted all those apps and it's definitely liberating. Being single has amazing benefits and I can't imagine myself dating again. I certainly would never live with someone again. I have my house exactly how I like it and don't have to stress about shaving my legs and doing all this preening all the time. Oh and having to give BJ's. Gross, just gross. Men seem to be the takers and women are the givers and i'm done with it all. Let liberation and peace prevail!

Amen to that @wobblywinelover

Hi all. I've been single for about a year and a half. I haven't dated much this year due to covid.

Having time out from dating has given me space to think what has gone wrong in past relationships and what I could do better. I've also been doing some hobbies I enjoy.

When and if I meet the next one that I really like I will have things that interest me to talk about and hopefully better communication skills.

Being single hasn't been too bad but I'm on my own for Christmas.

I would like to join too please? I separated from my husband a year ago but due to Covid we were in the same house until 2 weeks ago. I have since bought a house and my daughter and I are getting settled in. Waiting for our furniture delivery still!

I don't have any interest whatsoever in dating, or meeting anyone as I think at the ripe old age of 43 I am done with that aspect of my life.
My ex husband is a lovely man and we are, so far co-parenting very well together.
Would love some advice on what to do with my spare time though. Currently drinking WAY to much and browsing Mumsnet.

@SilverSilos - hi there. Perhaps have a look at Meet Up and see if there are any online groups you fancy joining.

@pinkandyellowroses, I will do that! In Ireland though but you have given me an idea! Thanks.