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Relationships

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How to juggle life with new bf?

7 replies

Haziejane · 09/11/2020 18:56

Just that really. I am a single parent, work full-time, have 2 young kids and a boyfriend who I met a few months ago. We have not met each others kids yet so only see each other on my child free nights. This is usually once a week or at the weekend. Things are going really well with him but it feels like im drowning in the life/work/boyfriend balance. Before meeting him my only chance to have a much needed break was once a week when kids are at their dads. Now I see boyfriend in this time. If I dont then I wont see him until the following week so we spend 2 weeks apart. I want to see him and make an effort to maintain the relationship. I also try to be a hands on parent as much as possible. I just feel constantly exhausted and now have no time to myself ever. My job is very demanding and has been extra busy recently. I have been going to bed when the kids go! I have felt very stressed lately, feel like I'm juggling everything badly and getting annoyed. So, what gives? How do I balance life and boyfriend? Not see him as much? Change jobs? I've spoken to him but think he took it personally and didnt really understand that I have limited time to do anything. How do other single parents do it?

OP posts:
cindylouwhosplaits · 09/11/2020 19:08

I am just starting the same juggling act and it's exhausting! I separated from my husband in January and had Fridays and Saturdays to myself. Since dating, I've found I've been so tired as I don't get to do all the pottering around I used to do on a Saturday as we see each other.

I don't want to not see him and I can't really afford to drop a day at work which seems like the only other option. I'm WFH at the moment which means I get to have a quick tidy up and do a few bits I wouldn't normally do when in the office, but I dread to think how I will cope if/when I have to commute again.

I don't have any advice but I just wanted to let you know you're not alone.

Haziejane · 09/11/2020 19:19

Thank you @cindylouwhosplaits You sound exactly like me Smile Also wfh at the moment and have also thought about reducing hours to give myself an extra day to catch up with housework/everything else Confused

OP posts:
KylieKoKo · 09/11/2020 19:19

How rigid is your contact schedule? Would he not watch them for an extra night or two to give you a break?

Haziejane · 09/11/2020 19:31

@KylieKoKo it is fairly rigid, doing same schedule for years. Don't think kids dad would agree to permanent change but could always ask.

OP posts:
altiara · 09/11/2020 19:38

Have you tried The Organised Mum Method (TOMM), I’m just about to start doing it. I think it tells you to do a quick tidy/clean some basics (15 mins per day), then clean a room/area/set of rooms per day. Eg monday living room, Tuesday xxx etc. Then Friday’s you do a bit of a deep clean on one area/room. Then you have the weekend free.
You could arrange it so you do 10 mins tidy in the morning, 20 mins while cooking dinner. Then no housework on boyfriend days.

So I haven’t started it yet, but it sounds easy when telling someone else what to do!
I just think cutting down working days to do housework isn’t worth it, better to have the money and do a little bit of housework everyday. Obviously if you have other stuff to do, then good idea, but cleaning isn’t worth it. (Or I might be projecting - if it was me, I wouldn’t do the housework!)
I also bought my DS (age 11) a flash speed mop so now he does the mopping which motivates me to hoover first.

princessconsulabananahammock · 09/11/2020 22:02

Does your boyfriend get to have the life balance @Haziejane? If he does explain from your point of view as it’s okay for him to get it. Not having a go here.

RantyAnty · 09/11/2020 23:16

Can you get a housekeeper in once a week?

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