Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Court. Father trying to take my child.

44 replies

Emmy1988 · 09/11/2020 13:52

I know how this sounds. 'Why has a father taken a child from her mother?'. I was forced out of my home. Thinking I was going to return to my home and child. Dad had a different idea. He never let me back, and refused my child from me for 3 months straight. I'm only just getting contact after having to involve solicitors. He is under the impression he is within his rights to do so as a father. And he also has parental responsibility for her. Going to court soon. My question is, has anyone out there managed to get parental responsibility changed from dad to mum in a similar situation? How can he decide to play god with her and I seemingly have no rights? And I was under the impression the mother automatically has parental responsibility for the child? Currently fighting for her to live with me and change schools which I know dosent work in my favour. Any help and advice please.

OP posts:

midnightstar66 · 09/11/2020 20:04

Both parents have equal PR unless removed by a court which is only in extreme circumstances. You need to look at contact arrangements and by the sounds of it you need a lawyer.

midnightstar66 · 09/11/2020 20:10

Lots of really inaccurate advice here sadly. I don't think the mum having auto pr but dad only if he's married is relevant at all now as the last children born when that was the case will be 18 now I'm sure. A resident parent can absolutely stop another from seeing the child for whatever reason as police will not get involved with this sort of dispute to prevent it. Mediation or more likely court is the only option. Unless there are major concerns at this stage the NRP will get contact. What contact this is depends on circumstances and also how convincing the person in possession of the child is and how good the respective lawyers are.

Flutter12 · 09/11/2020 20:16

I went to mediation about 2 years ago and they said the mother has PR but the father has PR if married or on the birth certificate. I don’t know what happens if they’ve lived with the child 10 years or something though if that counts as PR or not as this wasn’t my situation.

Flutter12 · 09/11/2020 20:16

OP how old is your child?

midnightstar66 · 09/11/2020 20:39

@Flutter12 most fathers are on the birth certificate though. If they aren't they can go to court to remedy that too. From 2003 if on birth certificate it doesn't matter if they are married or not.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/11/2020 08:39

So did he prevent you getting back into the home after your weekend away?

LilyWater · 10/11/2020 12:50

@BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

It's impossible to say whether he is doing something he should or shouldnt without further information.

Exactly. For all we know, it could be the OP who is abusive (I really hope this isn't the case).

Very strange she didn't get the police involved as soon as it happened. I can't imagine a mother being forced out of her home (if it is indeed her home and she hasn't done the foolish thing so many women do of living in a man's home unmarried with her name not on the house) and just not seeing her child. Unless authorities ARE involved and it's actually deemed in the child's best interests to be with the dad, with limited contact with the mum.

Even if it's an abusive situation on the man's part, I just don't know how such a situation could have happened with a woman separated from her child for so long without evidence and her being so passive about it

Unless perhaps OP is in a country with punitive laws against women, which she should have mentioned in her original post...

LilyWater · 10/11/2020 12:58

Just seen OP is apparently in the UK. From her posts, there's no language barrier so any normal person would have called the police in that situation. There's definitely more to this story then (if indeed it's true...)

nimbuscloud · 10/11/2020 13:11

Agree re police the minute you were denied access to your child

Wowthisisreal · 10/11/2020 13:19

My understanding is that police wouldn't be able to do anything in this situation as no crime has been committed if the father is on the birth certificate he has PR and it becomes a civil matter, not a criminal one.

Only way police would get involved is if there is a legal custody agreement from court proceedings which are violated.

OP I feel for you. I know another Father who threatened to not return a child after a weekend with them and was very happy to tell the mother there was "nothing she could do about it". It is terrifying. I hope you get to court as soon as possible. Have you tried mediation? I think courts want you to have tried this route first. If he is refusing mediation this will look badly on him. My advice would be to try for joint custody or standard arrangement with you 80 and him 20 etc. This will be court ordered and then he will not be able to do this again.

TheBlueStocking · 10/11/2020 13:24

The police wouldn't do anything in this situation, unfortunately. Even with a court order, the police won't do anything to recover a child from a parent.

Hercules12 · 10/11/2020 13:43

What a strange reaction to bernadette

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 10/11/2020 13:46

The police won't step in to permit someone into their own home when access is being denied? Her home that she is entitled to be inside?

midnightstar66 · 10/11/2020 18:50

The police won't step in to permit someone into their own home when access is being denied? Her home that she is entitled to be inside?

No, not normally. They don't get involved in domestic disputes where no crime has been committed. If this was the other way round and they weren't allowing a man back in when a woman had kicked him out would you be less surprised?

Magicpaint · 14/11/2020 19:39

Been through something similar. I have my DD but I'm always afraid he will take her from me

june2007 · 14/11/2020 19:53

DEf seek legal advice, have you tried negotiating contact through a mutual person/place?

NerrSnerr · 14/11/2020 19:55

Have you had legal advice? Are you taking him to court to get access?

TicTacTwo · 14/11/2020 19:57

Both parents have equal PR. It can only be removed in extreme circumstances.

OP needs a Child Arrangement Order. This will define what's days and time each parent will see dd. The police will help if the one parent doesn't return the child in time for the other parent's time.

I am not sure about the legal process but I believe that the OP's goal needs to be the Child Arrangement Order and not the removal of PR. What Dad did was extremely cruel (I'm assuming that there's no reason why Dad had to protect dd from mum) I'm not sure how fast courts are atm but I've seen threads about Dads not returning kids which should contain info about how to get Emergency Hearings etc I believe that you can have it written into the order that if he does this again then there are legal repercussions but you need to check with a professional.

Please ignore the person who said courts favour women. There are many unsuitable parents (both sexes) who have access to their children eg beating your partner isn't assumed to mean you might beat your child

If you are worried about your child's safety then the police will check that she is safe. However it's currently bedtime so not a good time for them to visit him as she'll hopefully be asleep.

Justy77 · 28/01/2025 17:52

Hi OP, was there any resolution in court?

Flip

1 2

Swipe left for the next trending thread