Ex back on the scene !

[lollipoprainbow]

Met a guy before lockdown had lots of dates and since. Nothing was really getting anywhere and he got in touch and met up with an ex who loves 3.5 hours away. Things went wrong despite her declaring undying love for him within the first five minutes of meeting! He has since divulged she has adhd and is very impulsive with her feelings. They stopped keeping in touch and we continued meeting up etc and I find myself liking him more and more. He told me this weekend that she had been back in touch and wants to try again and she loves him etc etc. He is adamant he is not at all interested but I'm not so sure, she's invited him to stay over lockdown with her and she's down for Christmas staying with her family who own the pub across from where the guy lives. He really fell for her and I can tell he still likes her a lot. Now I can't stop looking at her picture on Facebook and comparing myself to her and wondering why he hasn't fallen for me on the same way. He seems keen we get on brilliantly and I don't want to stop seeing him but when he goes home I feel terrible. Help !!

He seems keen we get on brilliantly and I don't want to stop seeing him

He's not over her.

If he was keen on you in preference to her, he would simply decline her offer and there'd be no need to tell you.

By doing so, he keeps you your toes and here you are trying to figure out how she's better than you... 2wht he fell for her and not you.

It's not a competition...and you're twisting yourself like a pretzel over a man who doesn't respect or care enough for you.

If you don't want to stop seeing him, be prepared for heartbreak.

If a guy I was seeing started doing this kind of nonsense, I would be done with him....but I'm probably older and have no tolerance for men like this.

I'd give this a wide berth.

Don't throw away a good friendship. You like him, he clearly likes you. He is honest with you.
But, you say it was going nowhere. Were you holding back? Now he is looking at his ex, are you realising what you might be missing out on?
Time for a honest chat if you have been seeing each other for what, 8, 9 months.
Quit all that checking up on her SM nonsense. You will tie yourself in knots.
Good luck lollipoprainbow, I hope this turns out well for you.

@willowmelangell thank you so much for your kind words ! Yes it was me that held back as I have been hurt and let down before plus it was lockdown !! I do love his friendship but feel annoyed and jealous that she could jeopardise all that. I'll stop looking at her on Facebook !!

This sounds like trouble ahead.
I agree with PP, give it a wide berth.
I was unwittingly in this sort of situation and it made me so ill.
Get out now while your investment is smaller. This is the least hurt you are going to be about it.

You can always give him a call over Christmas, if he's with her, you'll have your answer.

Unfortunately you can't make someone love you or make them stop liking someone else. If you feel as though he's more into this other woman than you, then he probably is. There will be a man out there that wants you and only you. I would leave this one to his ex and find someone deserving of you.

Looks like I was right ! The calls and messages have cooled somewhat, looks like she has got her claws back into him.

Then I would block and delete him.

Dont take second best. As soon as her impulsive behaviour does he head in, he'll come crawling back to you but don't let him. Dont be desperate and a mug.

Say to him, your too much of a good catch to be lay second fiddle, if he had any respect for you, he would block her number and refuse any contact with her. If he refuses, tell him to get fucked and block him.