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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

confused about friendship

4 replies

glitchguru · 09/11/2020 11:28

I met a friend though xbox over 8 years ago, me and her have been talking every since, i decided to meet up with her finally after 8 years and we hit it off, we had so much more in common than i thought. I didnt try anything on with her when was there, because i actually just enjoyed her company, done a lot of nice things though looking back at it and even paid for dinner, but came home and got so confused.

May of over thought things i really dont know, but obviously something changed, because before i was there we were talking daily, she would send me pics and videos daily of her, inc one that threw me of her in bed waking up where you could clearly see she was topless but didnt show anything.

Then when i was there bearing in mind 1st time we met, she got changed in front of me, said sorry for flashing me at a different albeit i wasnt actually paying attention. Even took my photo without me knowing which was odd as she knows i dont like my photo taken

After i come back the texts kept coming but pics and videos stopped. Because were in lockdown i asked her if she wanted to come to a hotel with me not stay just come over and walk the grounds with her dog as it had lovely scenery and then i would drop her off and go back and stay there as i had a business meeting close by the following day. She then asked to stay which threw me completely considering we had only ever talked about being friends nothing more.

Next day came she changed her mind, we ended up arguing and tbh i cant remember what it was about, i told her i wanted to come and see her so we can actually talk this all out to which i got the reply please dont.

I deleted snapchat after that, she blocked me on facebook, still friends on xbox though so i thought give it one more chance. Sent her a message a day later on whataspp thinking she would of blocked me on that too and to my suprise i got a reply. Things were amicable and then she tried to push me away and then blocked me before i could send the final message. After a day of me talking with friends i noticed i was unblocked again and the convo had been read

Now she does suffer a lot with anxiety, doesnt have a lot of good people around her. I cant keep going round in circles and i find texts to be the least form of communcation because you can hide behind it.

Im at a loss to do because we both talked a lot over the years, both i and her know a lot about each other. I was the 2nd guy she allowed over to her house which she seemed to want to tell me. I dont want to just ignore her and kinda wanna actually sit down and talk. So my question is would you drive all the way up there and then try to speak to her or would you just let it go

OP posts:
Thingsdogetbetter · 09/11/2020 16:45

Do not drive up. That is creepy in the extreme. Give it up. She has no idea what she wants. You have no idea who she really is - just what she's told you.

Looks like before you meet it was all a nice safe fantasy for her. Meeting has brought it into real life and freaked her out.

Standrewsschool · 09/11/2020 16:49

I would let it go. Meeting up is too much pressure. Maintain the friendship, at a distance, ie. Xbox, because it seem to work best then.

glitchguru · 09/11/2020 19:30

see thats the issue, meeting up wasn't too much pressure, we even mutually decided i would stay up and hang out the 2nd day, we had so much in common and talked for hours when i was there, went to a great restaurant, spent all day doing stuff we had similar interests in, i think thats what freaked us both out and caused the arguments, it went from being just chat friends online who spoke about a lot to meeting and realising how little we had spoke about certain things and then being into exactly the same stuff, and i think thats what caught us both off guard

OP posts:
Aria999 · 09/11/2020 20:01

Probably the best you can do is take the pressure off, just be friendly but don't push it. Maybe she took it further than she intended and is now panicking. It sounds like further effort from you would probably make things worse at the moment.

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