What do I do?

[Luby34]

I've known this guy since I was about 10, so over 25 years, and the last few months we have been dating. The problem is, he has kids and doesnt want more, and I don't fancy him... I just really like his character and he treats me the way I should be treated. Issue is, I am not going to fall in love with him so what do I do? I find it very hard to fancy someone and fall in love. We get on so well and I don't know if I should push that away. I'm also 37 years old and don't want to regret not having kids.

Cant you just enjoy this for what it is?

Then you keep him as a friend, it’s not fair to string him along. Are you sleeping with him ?

Why are you dating someone you don't even fancy? Sorry op but if you have that little respect for yourself (and him too btw) you are not ready to be a parent anyway.

I mean, maybe you are just lonely so being silly. But there might be deeper issues you need to talk to someone about. There is no reason a grown woman should be dating someone she doesn't even fancy just because he is nice to her. That smacks of underlying issues that need to be addressed. Possible codependency.

He doesnt want kids anyway. He isnt the man for you.

Though he sounds like he would be a good ipal. Though perhaps it would not be fair to ask him to go back to simply that now. I suspect he wouldn't be able to anyway. Maybe worth a try?

*pal

It's very hard to understand why you don't know what to do, honestly. You don't love him, you don't fancy him, and you want children but he absolutely doesn't want another child.

You are massively wasting your time, and that's a very foolish thing to do given you're 37 and wanting a baby. You do not have the luxury of wasting time, I'm afraid.

He's in the friendzone.
You don't fancy him. You don't love him. You want kids. He doesn't.

You need to end this and find someone else.

What Aqua said.

Surely you knew you didn’t fancy him before agreeing to date him? Why would you do that?

You either want children and will properly try to find someone who wants them with you (or you go the sperm donor route), or you don’t really want them and think being with him is a good use of your time. But that’s irrelevant to you wasting his time by stringing him along!

I think the bigger question is how can you force yourself to repeatedly shag someone you don’t fancy, when you have a clear choice not to, you’ve only been seeing him a short period. If indeed you are sleeping with him.

Honestly just end it, it’s all a bit ick

he has kids and doesnt want more

I'm also 37 years old and don't want to regret not having kids

Glossing over the other confusing elements here, doesn't this answer it?

Are you scared of being alone?

End it op.
For his sake and yours