45 year old man child

[Cherryblossom200]

Is there any hope? My daughters father is an overgrown child, he is coming back from Australia as he has decided it's time he wants to step up and be a father and try and work things out with me. This has been slowly progressing over 3 years, and when he does eventually come back I won't allow him to just step straight back into our lives.

The one thing I consistently see with him is his longing to be a family, yet really struggling to leave his bachelor free spirited life behind.

Is it even possible at 45?!

You cant be immature at 45. It's just fucken selfishness. Don't get involved with him again.

Unfortunately the words 'man child' can act to almost minimise shitty behaviour in some way sometimes. Because in implying that this full grown adult man has the sensibilities and cares of a child it takes away to an extent, his responsibility. As if we are saying 'aww diddums, he just hasn't grown up yet, poor thing'. He is a grownup. He isn't even a 21 year old acting 17,he us a 45 year old man. One who is perfectly capable of taking responsibility for his choices, words and actions - and chooses not to. Not because he is immature. But because he is a selfish dick.

Dont make excuses for him.

So he’s settling for you two because that 18yo supermodel never materialised then?.

I just can’t see what the point of a relationship would be.

Sorry for the late reply.

We chatted earlier in the year and had a long chat about the passed. He said if he came back he would like to try again with us, I said a lot of trust would have to be gained but we would see how it goes.

I need to be clear, I have micro managed the whole process with his relationship with his dd. We have worked up from basic email correspondence, to what's app messages and this last year to weekly FaceTime calls. This has been over the span of 3 years.

If he comes back, then he will would stay at his own place. Most definitely not with us, Plus I would slowly build up the relationship with him and his daughter.

A few weeks ago I told him not to come back to the UK. This was due to some things he said recently which led me to believe he hasn't been able to drop his negativity about me going ahead with a pregnancy he never wanted. Along with his passed choices, and what he recently said I think it's better he stays where he is. I'm not sure what he will end up doing, but I think coming back would be a mistake.

I don't want a relationship with him, and planning on telling him that soon.