Feeling lost and alone

[Wannabegreenfingers]

Hello,

Not really sure what I'm expecting from this, but I'm struggling. My stbexh and I separated in January. We have two children aged 10 & 8 together. We were married for 12 years and together for 14. We have had a very bumpy road so far. He has moved on and is living with his girlfriend who i strongly suspect was the OW. I genuinely don't want him back, we are such different people, but it hurts. I'm guess I'm grieving for the life that should of been, but never was.

I have lovely supportive family and friends, but I feel alone.

I guess I'm asking what helped others in my situation feel less alone. I want to stop being angry at him move on x

Anyone?

Hi I didn't want to leave your post unanswered. Have you thought about counselling?? Hopefully someone else will be able to give you some better advice.
It is hard trying to make a new life just take it one day at a time .

I too have gone through a break up recently OP. I didn’t want to be with her but when she moved on it did hurt, especially as she seemed to want to rub my nose in it. When I started doing the reminiscing and pining for the good times I had to remind myself about the reasons why we broke up, and there were a lot of reasons. I found that would snap me out of it pretty quickly.

As for the feeling alone, well I’ve not found a cure for that yet sadly. I think there are plenty of people feeling alone at the moment though so I just tell myself that this enforced isolation won’t go on forever.

Are there any online groups you can join? I joined a local lesbian group that has biweekly zoom catch ups and quizzes etc. I’m not looking for a date on there, they’re all much older than me anyway, but it helps stay in touch and having someone else to talk to breaks up the loneliness. Do you have an interest where there might be a group you can join?

I have also started trying different things in the kitchen. It probably won’t last as it’s a brief obsession but it’ll expand my repertoire of recipes if nothing else.

The other thing I do is I try to get out for a walk every day, even if it’s only 30 minutes. It’s good exercise and I’m a great believer in the fact that a walk only ever makes you feel better, even if it’s not straight away, but you’ll always be glad you got out for a bit.

Thank you. I'm organising some counselling, I'm fortunate that I can access this through work, it just takes a little while.

@Whatisthisfuckery, I'm sorry you are also going through this. I might look at some online groups.

I also feel my nose is being rubbed in it. Every communication is we, us, our, he can never talk about himself as an individual. I realise this say's more about him then me. I predicted everything that has happened so far this year in regards to his relationship status and I got some weird half apology yesterday for his behaviour, but in the next breath how happy is he to get a 2nd chance at happiness. WTF!

Covid isn't helping, I'm very much a people person and need to be in the physical company of others, but I'll definitely look at joining some online groups. I also love walking and do try to get out most days.

Gosh, that is quiet the pity party from me. I guess, time is my friend and hopefully this time next year I'll feel less anxious and more settled.