A new kind of torture

[goingtoraintoday]

I've posted before about my DH behaviour towards me. He often sulks if he doesn't like me calling him out on his behaviour. Now he was silent for 4 days, then seemed to 'come out of it' but by Saturday evening was clearly annoyed with me again (or still?) and spoke very little. This has continued and I'm just so tired of it. The constant 'lump in my stomach' kind of bad feeling. I'm soo soo tired of it. I can't leave , i have no where to go , family lives in another country. No money and no income (I'm looking for a job).
Also I feel strongly about marriage and worry a lot about how divorce would affect the kids. I know this also affects them but which is worse? Who can say?
I'm just at the end of sanity i think and just need some communication with someone, just something...

What is his behaviour that you’re calling him out on? This is emotional abuse. He’s nasty to you, but the second you try to stand up for yourself he punishes you. This is a shit environment to being your kids up in. When was the last time you were happy for any length of time?

What the previous poster wrote. This is no life for you or your children. The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none. Staying with him will do your children far more harm going forward. It will really do them no favours to see you being abused like this.

You are married to this man and so have legal rights, exercise these fully. I would seek legal advice from a solicitor ASAP re divorce. Knowledge here is power. If you can go to Boots the chemist, they have a consultation room where you can access domestic abuse support.

I know I have rights but I would still have to take the kids away from their only home they have known and love to potentially a council flat. And then i will go to work full time and they will be in after school club and then at weekends probably with their dad without me. I'm struggling with all of this because even though at present things are not great there's a chance that it will be worse. The kids are happy. They love their dad.
Things are not always this bad.

I couldn't put up with it. I grew up treading on eggshells. If you can put up with it do so but if you see sense you'll know it's not fair to you or your DC to live like this. You could all be so happy without this nasty bully.

Like @AttilaTheMeerkat says "The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none"

What about you?! The kids will be happier with you happier, but even leaving that aside, you are important. Your happiness is important, it's your life, live it the best you can!